Total Mummy Win

I cannot describe how awesomely I won today.  I'm still swept away by it.

You see, it was a day of maniacal dashing around.  Even I, with my penchant for goal setting (LOL) and punctuality (LOL!LOL!) was thinking I'd bitten off more than I could chew.  We have one of our cars off the road for the time being (a boring tale of unbalanced wheels and a tyre so bald it'd put Bunsen here to shame -

Bunsen the Muppet

its so far gone we need to switch it with the spare before we drive again - seriously, that bad, but only one tyre, the other is fine)

Anyhoo. Down a car, hubs due in Balkie Hills at 2pm for an appointment of undisclosed length, me due to fetch kids at 3.30pm and kid dentist appointment at 4pm.  With 15ks of the busiest road in the state in between (Pennant Hills road).

I'm thinking that this has the potential to go horribly wrong.

1.31pm Arrive Balkie Hills

2pm Hubs heads to appointment - deal is that if he isn't out by 2.50pm I will go to get kids and come back (nightmare scenario involving massive driving with tired hungry kids on horrid road)

2.03pm Bored. Ring mother - get told unsettling tales of puppy poo, baby snakes nests, infected alpaca eyes and other lovelinesses

2.31pm Get off phone, check twitter, fb and emails on phone
2.32pm Think about walking up hill to get coffee
2.42pm Realise that hubs had better be out soon
2.50pm Chew nails in froth of indecision
2.55pm Stare in rear vision mirror willing hubs out of building and into car
2.57pm Start engine, phone rings, hubs appears

3pm Exit Balkie hills without getting lost OR being converted to Hillsong-ism
BUT Need to make 35min trip in 30mins.

3.29pm Arrive at school adhering to speed limits At All Times (as if I'd speed)
Park somewhat illegally in staff car park spot, get smile and cheery wave from Deputy Head (PHEW)

3.40pm Everyone, plus cello, two tennis rackets, library bags, school bags, sports bags and a scrunched up bit of paper about an excursion into car

3.45pm Tackle motorway and more vile traffic

3.55pm Arrive dentist ON TIME, nearly faint at the unbelievableness of it all

4pm Miss 7 in dentist chair, hubs and Miss 6 in supermarket
4.14pm Laugh loudly at inappropriate text message sent by hubs, startling dentist and earning reproving look from dental nurse - then Dentist smiled, and told me Miss 6 needs to see an orthodontist asap. sigh.

4.30pm Arrive home to dinner in slow cooker and large glass wine

Huzzah.  I made it.

That's my happiness for today :)

Exciting News: Drive Me To Distraction

My New Years resolutions for this year, made very close to midnight on Twitter, were three things.

1. That 2012 be my year of writing
2. That I'd wear nail polish on my toenails
3. That I'd drink gin

Interestingly, I've stuck to the first one, and totally bombed out on the second two.  Well, I ran out of gin, and am working my way through the alcohol cabinet before I go out and start buying new bottles of anything. I sound like a complete alcoholic now, don't I?

Anyway, without further ado, I'd like to take a deep breath and announce that I've contracted Drive Me To Distraction with Momentum Books, the e-publishing arm of Pan Macmillian.

Which means, I'm going to be a published author again.

OMG, I'm going to be a published author again!!! :D

Its been a long time between novels for me.  

After Secret Intentions was published I was diagnosed with a scorching case of Post-Natal Depression.  I made a decision, at that time, to step back from publishing (hell, I was such a mess I could barely make myself a cup of tea, let alone market a book).  In any case, I found my anti-depressants totally squashed my creativity, and writing took more energy that I had to give. 

I let it go.  

Well, to a degree. I never stopped blogging!  But what I wrote about became what was happening in everyday life. Not fiction.

A year passed.  I found my feet and with the help of a brilliant counsellor and the anti-depressants, I slowly recovered from PND.

Then the wonderful Trisha Telep asked me to write a short story for The Mammoth Book of Special Ops Romance (The Grey Man) and the popularity of that led to a big jump in sales of both Running Scared and Secret Intentions.  The writing spark began to flicker once more.

18 months after my diagnosis, I stopped taking the anti-depressants.  Still wary of putting myself under to much pressure, and dealing with Miss (now) 6, who as it turned out, had Aspergers syndrome, I did not dive right in, but instead started to write.  The stories were stories of my heart; named Drive Me To Distraction, The Bunker, Running With The Hunted and Fat Chance.  They followed no rhyme or reason, or structure or rules.

And then in early 2012 I decided it was time to start submitting again, just to see what would happen.  By mid February I had five full requests from seven query letters, and things were looking pretty exciting.

Which brings us to today.

I have read and signed the contract.  Sent it on its way, and am filled with a huge sense of satisfaction and anticipation.  My story will be out by the end of the year, and I am so excited to be back.  

:)

Enduring The Insanity and Rhubarb & OJ Ice Blocks

Yes, yes, I've been watching River Cottage again.  Its school holidays, and I have the whole entire family in the house all day, every day.  I'm teetering on the brink of sanity at the best of times, but now...?

River Cottage is happy and calm, everyone is nice, no one demands breakfast then spits it on the floor, or refuses to eat anything but cup cakes.  The garden is neat and tidy, not a desolate chook poo covered wasteland, nor are there avocado trees glaring accusingly from where they sit, unplanted, in their pots.  The kitchen is clean, no maggots in the scrap bin, no mildew growing in the grout on the sink splash-back.  And everyone seems content, not having a screaming fight with their sister because its 12 hours before another room unlocks on pet hotel.

So yes, I have been watching River Cottage, and in a fit of deluded enthusiasm decided to renew my quest to get Miss 6 to eat something other than white bread and honey.

No I didn't seriously think I'd get her to eat anything with rhubarb in it.

So, Rhubarb and OJ Ice Blocks... RECIPE HERE

Rhubarb from the garden
Ignore the strawberries, I spotted them when I was getting the rhubarb
Orange from California, sigh (WHY COLES WHY??)

I cooked 5 sticks of rhubarb with the juice of the orange, some honey and brown sugar until they were soft.

Then into the whizzer to get rid of any chunky bits

And the rather lovely end result

Hubs and I loved our, Miss 7 liked hers, but it was too rich for her to finish, and Miss 6 refused to have a bar of it, except for digging hers out of the ice-block maker with her finger and eating it that way (is that a win? Maybe a win the battle, lose the war, kind of win, or the other way around. Hmm)

Now I am not usually one to tease, but I have news, big news, but I'm not saying a thing about it until Monday.

Thus the insanity continues.

Whole New Meaning to a MacChicken

Next-door's dogs dug under the fence this morning and caused there to be much squawking and panicking (chickens), swearing and bellowing (me), and running about and barking (the dogs).

No harm done, but when I came back inside I found this refugee.

At least she didn't poo

Now do you see what I must overcome to blog!!?!!

She let me pick her up and put her outside, and is now back in her coop with the others and some breakfast :)

Easter Miracle & Home made Strawberry Ice-blocks

So, as all you wonderful lovely fabulous regular readers know (I love you guys, I surely do :)), I lost my blogging/gardening/cooking mojo a while back, then got injected with copious amounts of B12 and It All Came Back.

Hurray.

River Cottage and its plethora of TV shows and books have been around for a while.  In the miasma of the last few years they sort-of passed me by.  But, recently, I've become addicted -  the food and the cooking encapsulate everything I was taught as a child by my English Grandparents, Aunt, and Father.  All of whom had/have the dual aims in life to either be outside in the garden growing stuff, or inside in the kitchen cooking it. So, not surprisingly, River Cottage truly resonates with me.

I was watching River Cottage Everyday (Fruit) yesterday, and HFW made some sublime Strawberry Ice-blocks.

In our much neglected garden, the Strawberries have had a late summer burst of activity.

Got 250g worth!!

Tossed the 250g of strawberries into the blender with 25g icing sugar

Into the whizzer

 Then poured the mixture into our ice-block making thingy

This is a zoku
It is utterly brilliant
Makes ice-blocks in about 5 minutes

 And result...

Home made strawberry ice-blocks

One of my many aims at the moment is to try to get Miss 6 to broaden her diet (presently it's white bread with honey, and apple juice). And this was a total win (once she got over the presence of strawberry seeds, and I suppose a better mother than I would've sieved them out).
She then turned around and ate a banana, at which point I fainted with delight.
And THEN she ate some frozen yoghurt drops.  Well butter me up and call me a Sayo, its an Easter Miracle.

Yeah, it'll be back to white toast tomorrow, but for today I'm grabbing my glimmer of hope with both hands.

Wow. You have the hairiest eyebrows I've ever seen...

Miss 6s temp is still above 38 and I am totally over having such a sick little one.  We've been back to the doctor and now she's on a stonking great dose of anti-biotics but he said not to expect much improvement until Saturday.  I'm hoping that's the case, as I'm so not in the mood for another Saturday at hospital.  Still no clear idea what the problem is either.  Thus far 'a virus' with 'a possible underlying bacterial infection.'  Bloody marvellous.

Being the outstanding mother that I am, I left my poorly cherub in the care of her father,  and buggered off to get a haircut this morning.  It was bliss.  Out of the house, sitting down, someone even brought me a cup of tea.

I had the in-house sadist shape my brows (which is beauty salon for pouring hot wax on your face and tearing your eyebrows off).
She was full of comments.
Like 'wow, you have the hairiest eyebrows I've ever seen,'
and 'no-way, I had to use double wax,'
and 'thank god you're not dark-haired, imagine what your eyebrows would look like then, monobrow LOL.'
Why yes. LOL indeed.

Still it was worth it.  The hairdresser forced me to figure out that the last time I'd had it cut was before Grandad's funeral, back in October, and even I was forced to admit I was starting to look pretty bedraggled.

Got home and baked a chocolate cake.  Which took the day from bearable to Not Bad.  Used Nutella as the filling. It was awesome. Nutella. Who knew?? :)

Pancake Day...

What A Day.

It began early. Very early. With a meeting at school to discuss Miss 6 going on camp next week.  The upshot of it all was that I shall be loitering incognito in various locations around Sydney next week, ready to put Plan B (grab child, hurl in car, drive away quickly) into action should the plot become lost at any point.  Just between us, I know Miss 6 will be fine on camp.  Its the coming home excited out of her brain that triggers the meltdowns, and that'll only be shared between us and a block or so of neighbours.  You know. Discreetly. Our specialty.

Hubs and I then headed off to a cafe for a restorative coffee, and thence to Hornsby for another restorative coffee - yes, yes, we were suffering.  Only to have the phone ring... Miss 6 was lying on the floor complaining of a sore throat, and needed to be collected from school.  Now Miss 6 was rather poorly over the weekend, a rather nasty 40+ temperature resulted in an afternoon at Hornsby Hospital in the company of wonderful Nurse Jess and awesome Dr Hamilton.

Poor Miss 6

Neurofen, panadol and a dose of steroids finally saw things improving, but Miss 6 hasn't been 100% since.  So we hot-footed it back to school to collect the invalid.

And that was all before 9.30am

The rest managed to include sausages for lunch, two trips to the supermarket, capturing escaping chickens, inspecting a fallen-down branch, editing and rewriting, a trip back to school to fetch Miss 7, afternoon tea, homework, and then dinner...

I'd promised pancakes.  So when Sandra at $120 Food Challenge posted this link to Chocolate pancakes with berry sauce, AND we had all the ingredients in the cupboard, I knew that it was serendipity at work - and serendipity should never be ignored.
 

Stirring the batter

Cooking - look its a smiley face

Twelve perfect pancakes

With berry sauce and ice-cream

End result

:)

Upcycling a towel rack

We don't use our heated towel racks any more - too expensive to run and really, not necessary in this climate. Also this one kept blowing all the fuses - which is upsetting with any electrical device, but doubly so when that device is in the bathroom.

So I gathered my initiative and have up-cycled it.

Yet another stroke of genius, or something

Bloggy Slackarsery

Hmm 

Yes, yes, if there was an award for bloggy slackarsery (and there probably is) I would be a contender.  Life, at the moment, is consumed with Miss 5 and getting her myriad issues under control - well, trying to figure out exactly what the issues are and then trying to get them under control.

A sensible approach, I'm sure you'll agree.
But.
Frankly.
Its war.

We are living with a 5 year old dictator, who we are somewhat unsuccessfully attempting to overthrow.  Its rather like a Fijian coup.  A great deal of stamping about, shouting and waving of arms, but in the end the same guy ends up in charge (ie, her), and life continues exactly as it was - but, with an added layer of knowledge about the capabilities of the opposing parties

Yes. Like all good despots, she is not going quietly.  The riff-raff who've had the privilege to serve under her (ie, us) are rising up, and she Does Not Like It At All.
If she had a band of minions (and I swear she's working on the prototypes) then they would be sacrificed without turning a hair.
There is no crime too outrageous, no line that cannot be crossed, no limit that is... er.... limiting.

Actually, am desperately proud of her.  She'll go a long way, Miss 5, if she learns to stop confessing to her misdeeds and gets better at hiding evidence.

Wish me luck.

Laugh or Smack-Him-In-The-Head

Bring the straw in, I said.
I'm not driving around with it in the car, I said.
Don't leave it outside, its going to rain, I said.

Yeah, frickin hilarious.

Stylish Butter Dish Lid

Someone broke the butter dish.  So I have gathered my initiative and fashioned a new one.

Am not sure if this is up-cycling or down-cycling

Escapologist is at it again

I planted some lettuces to fill in the gaps amongst the flowers.

Perfect for a dust bath apparently

As she is laying beautifully at the moment she has been forgiven. Just.

:)

Put shoes outside in sun....

It rained.

Things I love

Ten things I totally love right now....

• My new laminator... (mmm, laminating)

Why yes, I have lost the plot

• My husband...

We had children

• My children, who went to bed with no fighting, no screaming, no getting up, just cuddly cuteness (that Hadron Collider thingy must have torn a hole in the space/time continuum or something)
• The three almonds on the almond tree
• Going to see Alexander McCall Smith speaking at Sydney Opera House
• Apple blossom
• Massive roast dinners with wine, laughter, second helpings, third helpings
• Phone calls that go... "Guess What." "What??" "I'm pregnant!!!"
• Twitter - its great company when you are sitting in a hospital listening to someone breathe
• Sleep

:)

Fluffy Pink Slippers

There comes a time in every mother's life when she goes slipper shopping with her 7 year old and ends up with...

Fluffy Pink Slippers

Due to financial constraints I have been slipperless this winter.  Given that I am prone to chilblains, I have really really missed them.  (My old pair of slippers walked themselves out the door and threw themselves in the bin in disgust).

I did promise myself that I would not do any gardening wearing them.  Then I went and did gardening wearing them.  So I am promising that from now on I will not do any gardening in them.

:)

Flu

I was going to post a picture of how awful I look right now, but it was too horrible and hubs said it'd frighten people.  I have the flu.  I have not been sick like this for YEARS.  Not since the kids were tiny and I was existing on four hours of sleep a day.  Urgh.

Miss 5 also has the flu, tonsillitis (I think, doctor again tomorrow) and glands like golf balls.  Hubs is claiming to be sick but is battling on, mostly I think to get out of the house and away from drippy, sneezy, coughy, moaning females who blame him entirely for bringing this plague into the house in the first place.  Miss 7 is swanning along without a care in the world, which makes me highly suspicious, but at the same time deeply hopeful of perhaps one day selling her to science.  How can she not be sick???

To add insult to injury school holidays have now ended, but Miss 5 is in no state to return.  So rather than dying with grace and dignity on the couch, alone, surrounded by used tissues, I must spend my time bickering about whether we watch Olivia (my favourite) or Total Drama Island (Her favourite), and rushing back and forth with glasses of apple juice and vegemite on toast.  Also she keeps falling asleep on my arm which means I can't knit.

Siiiiigh.

Be back soon.

If I survive.

Kung Fu Panda, Bridesmaids and Invisible Ink

I am writing this whilst swilling a glass of wine and scoffing brie and bbq shapes (classy eh??).  Today I took the kids to the movies, had Yum Cha for lunch, slothed about all afternoon (did put on load of washing, but that was mostly because dirty washing pile was blocking door to Other End of house and therefore the TV) had friends over AND did not tidy up beforehand, have done boil and serve tortellini for the kids dinner, and am letting hubs fend for himself.

So, am getting the hang of it, slowly.

We went to see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies, and it was just fantastic.  I'd heard that it was better than Kung Fu Panda 1, and it really is.  The animation is spectacular, and the story is wonderful.  There's enough to it to keep adults engaged and kids amused.  If you've got little people, or even if you don't, its well worth seeing.

Movie wise I was worried I was turning into a complete old biddy.  Saw Bridesmaids on the weekend - "the Hangover for girls" apparently - and was totally and utterly appalled by it.  It was just horrific.  Everyone keeps telling me they thought it was funny, but I didn't crack a single smile throughout the whole thing.  It was only because I thought it had to redeem itself at some point that I stayed to the end.  Needless to say, it did not redeem itself.

I thought it was me. I thought I'd suddenly turned into such a stuck-up old thing that I am offended by toilet humour.  I was brought up on toilet humour, cut my teeth on fart jokes, I couldn't understand what had happened to me...

But then, last night I was watching the QI Episode Espionage on iView, and weeping with laughter over the factoid that IF you are in dire need of invisible ink and have no lemon juice or milk to hand, then sperm will do just as well AND that the head of MI6 who recorded this riveting fact in his diary was none other than one Mansfield Cumming.

And it dawned on me that the problem with Bridesmaids was not so much the toilet humour, but it was the plot, which was weak and pointless, and the characters that were shallow.

I am just as crass as I always thought I was.

Well phew.

Not a patient patient

I have spent the weekend trying to do nothing.

IT IS KILLING ME.

Take it slow??  I have gardens to dig and meals to cook and THINGS to do.

I am trying.  (Yes, yes, very trying, ha ha).  But I sit down with a cup of tea to enjoy the sunshine and immediately spot the hole in the gazebo roof where a possum swan dived off the house roof onto it, and swiftly discovered it was a Very Bad Idea.  I try to enjoy the garden, but I want to dig in the green manure, and plant the lettuces, and look at those weeds, and I need to water the peas and... and...

Breathe... Breathe...

No, its not going particularly well.

Thus far two things have helped.  The first has been the complete and immediate banning of ALL multi-tasking.  I am working very hard on doing one thing at one time, and that thing alone.  If I am putting on a load of washing then I am not stopping or allowing myself to be interrupted until the machine is gurgling away and spilling half its water onto the floor (rotten seal).

Its much much harder than it sounds.

The second thing ground me to a halt.  And it was just a trip out with the family.

You see it was a friends 40th birthday breakfast yesterday morning, and those few hours of travelling, socialising and kid-wrangling drained me to a point where I teetered once more on the edge of losing it.  You see, after we got back I decided I'd go and do something in the garden (lettuces being top of the list).  But as I started to dig, I started to panic more and more about other jobs that needed to be done.  I felt overwhelmed, exhausted and close to tears.  I decided I must be hungry, but food didn't help the utterly wretched feeling of failure and anxiety, I just couldn't shake it.

Eventually, my exasperated husband intervened (he is a brave brave man) and I got sent to bed with Time Team on the lappie, immediately passed out and woke up three hours later.  Then moped about the house being crabby until Downton Abbey, and then crawled back into bed.

Yep.  Recovery plan going well.

I do learn though, eventually.  Today has been help-yourself breakfast, lunch at Maccers, trip to the shoe shop to spend gift vouchers :), dinner from the freezer and doing nothing that required any effort when the kids were playing outside, watching tv or monopolising the computer - whereas usually I'd been tearing around cleaning things, or folding things, or cooking stuff.  The multi-tasking has been up-graded to no-tasking (or very bare minimum tasking, as any parent will know), so maybe there is hope for me yet :).

Post Traumatic Stress

I thought I had depression.  I did not want depression, and I certainly did not want to go onto anti-depressants.  So, for the last few weeks I've been ignoring the symptoms and thinking that if I just went to bed earlier, or remembered to take my Omega-3s then it'd be all good.

But my exhaustion grew and grew.  I couldn't write, I couldn't read, I felt overwhelmed, useless, pointless, adrift.  My temper was on a hair-trigger, tears simmered just below the surface and my tolerance for any kind of stress was zero.  I felt like I took one step forward and two back.  Simple household chores were beyond me and my so-loved garden was just a burden.  I found driving so stressful that I was convinced I was on the verge of having an accident.

So yesterday I arrived on the door-step of my wise-woman, tissue in hand and trying not to cry because I was wearing make-up and had school stuff on later in the day.  I should've forgot about the makeup.

After she'd patiently listened to me rant and sob for half an hour, she smiled gently and told me I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress - NOT Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD - which War Veterans and the like get).

I have been living under a very high and sustained stress level for the last year, especially since January, when hubs became unemployed and Miss 5 started school.  Now that hubs is back at work and we are finally getting some concrete help with Miss 5, the stress levels are dropping and now its time for me to pay-the-piper. So I get sick (migraines), freak out (traffic, and anything else you care to think of), lose temper (with everything and everyone).

Because I haven't been able to take the time to nurture me, my tank is empty, I am exhausted, and my inner self has said enough is enough.

And all this the day before school holidays start.

Typical.

So how do I recover from all this exhaustion?

Not pills, but cups of tea.  Not getting a cleaner, but giving myself a break and getting the family to help with the mess, or live with the filth.  Going to bed early. Eating well. Getting outside.  Less sugar, more fruit.  Getting the endorphins moving.  Taking short-cuts, being slack, cooking nothing but scrambled eggs.  Taking vitamins. Drinking water. Starting a new writing project. Having fun.  Cuddles.  Wine. Laughter.

And most of all, just breathing.

Actually, sounds quite fun.

I'm glad that depression wasn't mentioned.  And looking back, I can see that my mood was not as empty black as depression, that I didn't have the urge to check out to the degree of sleeping all the time, or suffering anxiety attacks.

And I'm looking forward to a school holidays where I am the slackest parent on earth.

:)

Happy Anniveristary

Today is Hubs and my 7th Wedding Anniveristary.

We are still in the 48% of marriages that don't fail.  Neither of us have any idea how. Our main theories of a long and happy marriage are as follows..

• If you are angry, yell at each other and slam doors a lot
• If you are going to get fat, do it together (preferable whilst watching the biggest loser)
• Blame each other's parents for any problems the children may have
• Have one set of rules for yourself, another set for everyone else in the house, be vigilant about enforcing these rules
• Let resentment fester, and always go to sleep on an argument, preferable in separate rooms
• Make sure one person is a tea person, the other is a coffee person
• Make sure one person is a dog person and the other a cat person
• Make sure neither of you are children people
• Argue about small and pointless things, eg, which parking space to park in.
• Never, ever, not ever under any circumstances admit you may be even a teeny weeny slightly bit WRONG.

Love yooooo.

:)