Here is a list of all the things I have done today...
Begged husband not to leave house, contemplated lying on floor howling with 2yr old when he did.
Fed 4 month old.
Shared breakfast with Miss 2, her third for the day after eating her own and her father's.
Realised it was raining and thought yay rain.
Realised that rain means that if Miss 2 goes outside she will get 1. cold, 2. wet, 3. cranky.
Realise day will be spent inside with unreasonable toddler.
Ring husband to tell him I hate him.
Shower, supervised by dog, Miss 2 and Miss 4 months.
Rescue Miss 4 months from Miss 2's attempts to smother.
Finish washing hair.
Realise all clothes in dirty clothes basket.
Put load washing on.
Watch with tired resignation as Miss 2 begins to trash house.
Resolve to use firm Supernanny discipline techniques and enlist Miss 2 to tidy up mess.
Fail, decide to ignore state of house.
Decide to find healthy biscuits to cook so as to distract Miss 2.
Cook healthy no fat biscuits, ignore amount of sugar.
Miss 2 covered in batter.
Kitchen covered in batter.
Cook spaghetti bolognese for dinner .
Cook lamb casserole for Thursday after work.
Offer healthy biscuits to Miss 2.
Pick biscuits up off floor.
Decide its time for Baby Einstein - thank god for Baby Einstein.
Feed Miss 4 months.
Feed Miss 2 lunch.
Pick lunch up off floor.
Ring husband to tell him I still hate him.
Direct nice debt-collection man to next door.
Wipe milk vomit off shirt.
Decide its time everyone had a nap.
Sit brain-fried in front of computer deciding that current wip is a complete waste of time that Mills&Boon will never want.
Try to organise life via email, fail miserably.
Miss 2 wakes from nap, crankier than ever and only placated by the thought that Boobah is on telly.
Boobah not on telly.
Try to bribe with biscuit.
Pick biscuit up off floor (even the Dog didn't want it).
Ring husband again. Berate.
Walk around block with dog, and children, sing Old MacDonald.
Feed spaghetti bolognese to Miss 2.
Wonder why dog will eat spaghetti and bolognese but not peas.
Start counting minutes until hubby arrives home.
Feed Miss 4 months.
Congratulate husband on arriving home just as everyone goes to bed.
Look forward to evening of viewing Big Brother.
Remember tomorrow is wedding anniversary.
Blame husband for current state of life.