Farewell Fat Clothes

Am not happy. Despite dieting my shrinking behind off, I did not lose weight this week.  It could be because I'm adjusting to the new weightwatchers regime, or it could be because I've got a scorching case of fluid retention or it could just be because sometimes dieting sucks.  Who knows.

So, am blogging about the fat clothes I got rid of on the weekend in an attempt to cheer self up and keep motivated and stop eating fantales.

There was a good pile of stuff that's around size 14 to 16 that I simply cannot wear anymore - it falls off. And my god it was a good feeling to clear it out of the drawers and cupboards. Its a symbol of what I've achieved, and I'm also not giving myself a place to go back to.  No siree.  If I put weight back on, I'll just have to suffer in my size 12 jeans until I lose it again.

Well, its a strategy. :)

The clothes have gone to Vinnies.

I cannot tell you the number of times people who have lost weight, who have tried to give me their old fat clothes.  Seriously. It happened again just a couple of months ago.  Why anyone who had lost weight would look around for their nearest overweight friend and go 'oh you look like you're a 16, here have my old stuff,' is beyond me.  Its devastating and humiliating.  And honestly, whilst I firmly believe in people's good intentions, to do that to someone is a sign that you are not a friend.  Yes, yes, I know they're often nice clothes and yes, the person is most likely right, they'd probably fit.  I understand their logic.  But the reality of this situation is cruel and hurtful.

This setback - of working incredibly hard on weightloss and getting nowhere - is really the first serious challenge I've faced. I'm surprised by how desperately I want to eat and how I've gone right back to the usual justifications and self-talk that I thought were dead and buried about six months ago.

sigh.

Wish me forbearance.

Gigantic Underpants Fail

I did it again.  Ran into Target and grabbed the first bulk pack of undies I saw in the right size. Am rueing the decision as I ended up with these...

Even more enormous than the horrific purply-grey ones I ended up with last time.  Do not think I will be able to bring self to wear them, though if I do and we are on a yacht and we lose the sails in a freak accident, I will be able to save the day and hoist a pair up.  Never let it be said that I am not versatile.

:)

The Sty

I have a new apron.  I also have a house that looks a lot like a pigsty.  So today I combined the two and wore my apron to muck out my pigsty.  (My hair is in a pony tail and yes I should smile).

At the end of Phase One (the bedrooms) I ended up with a dirty clothes pile that blocked the doorway to the other end of the house.

Despite perplexing the dog, this pile served the worthy purpose of stopping me from having to look at the state of the TV room (Phase three).  Which is as illustrated below.

I have also run out of washing powder, leading me to believe (somewhat cheerfully) that I may not get to Phase Three until at least the weekend.

hmm.

Finally, and seriously, my heart goes out to everyone in NZ, and the Pike River miner's families in particular. My sister worked underground as a mining engineer in various coal mines for many years. I know what it's like to live with the knowledge that a loved one spends their working day kilometres beneath the surface - mostly you don't try to think too hard about it, and put your faith in the safety procedures that every mine has in place.  There is nothing else you can do.  It's beyond ghastly, what has happened, just devastating.

Haircut

Guess who had his summer clip today...

Am thinking its time for my summer clip as well.  Seb's has spent the day hanging out with two ruby cavalier's and could barely keep his eyes open long enough for this photo.

In other stop press news, my Honey Joys sold out in moments at the Christmas markets and I am, officially, the Honey Joy Queen. You may now address me as Queen Honey (which sounds like a porn star) or Queen Joy (which is uncannily accurate, me being suffused with joy at all times, or was that sarcasm? always getting those two confused). Honey joys, for those who are unsure, are cornflakes smothered in honey and butter, put in a patty pan and left to coagulate.  Very yum.

:)

Connecting

Been making Honey Joys for the school's christmas markets.

It was hard work, on a day when the kids have been brain-suckingly horrific, but I really love being a part of the school community and contributing in this way.

Its been a day of connecting today.  Connection for me is something that is really important.  When I walked away from my first marriage I was desperately isolated.  Breathtakingly alone.  Now my life is overflowing with people, so much so that I sometimes get overwhelmed by it.  But not today.  Today I've had coffee and laughter, phone calls and laughter and setting the world to rights and chatting and helping and advising and text messages and IM chats and discussions in the car park and bumping into people in the supermarket and the newsagent.

Yeah, the kids have been hard-work, and I'm drained and tired, but looking back over today the feeling of connectedness and sense of belonging, makes me smile.

Its been a good day.

Just found what is missing from my life

I've just spent ten minutes surfing a few blogs, and am now contemplating the intricacies of a FUD (female urinary device)...

Courtesy of Mrs Woog at Woog's World - who's opinion of the thing I am entirely in accord with.

Ew.

Just as I was getting over this, I came across Re-useable toilet paper.

The environmentalist in me approves of this, she really really does, but... well, when I was living in China I stayed in places where the sewage system could not handle toilet paper, so after you had finished with the toilet (subtly put eh?) you put the paper in an open bin which got emptied once a day if you were lucky.

Right now this concept is giving me flashbacks, and they ain't pretty.

shudder.

Clearly neither FUDs nor re-useable toilet paper are missing from my life.

No.

What has been missing from my life re-appeared of its own accord this afternoon after an absence of a good 20 years...

Miss 6 got one at a party this afternoon, and after some confusion has taken to the concept with admirable dedication.  Never has so much laughter been heard, mostly at the expense of hubs.

Saturday afternoon in the garden

Miss 4 has been taking photos. Given her height and my height there were a lot which included my elbows, boobs and bottom.  Not a pretty sight when clad in grey velour tracksuit pants and a hot pink lycra top (what? its Saturday and I've been in the garden all day).

This thicket is the tomatoes.  They're fruiting all over the place.

And the washing on the line. I just love when kids take random pictures like this and they really work.

And then there are those that have questionable content.

:)

Quiet

Am still here. Am okay.  Things have been rather full on at Chez Nicholas. We have finally launched ourselves into 'the system' with regards to Miss 4s behaviour issues - well, after she pooed herself at the paediatrician's office to get attention, we kind-of had to.  Words like Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Aspergers are being mentioned - but I want to stress that we have no official diagnosis at this stage, and honestly if she did have either of these things it would be at the very mild end of the spectrum.  She's a fabulous, hugely bright kid and frankly I think with counselling for all of us, and good management techniques we'll smooth out the somewhat bumpy path that we're currently on.

Regardless, the last couple of weeks have been confronting and intensely mentally draining and I have not had the headspace to put together a coherent blogpost, even if it was just about vegetables.

We have a reasonably quiet weekend ahead - before the insanity of end-of-term and (oh dear god) Christmas and (Oh Dear God) long holidays - so am hoping to get a few moments of ranting writing time.

Be back soon. :)

Sweetcorn

This bed here is half my sweetcorn bed (I've got two 3m x 1m beds next to each other, so I generally count them as one bed).  At the end of July I put in a heap of sweetcorn seed. One germinated and I bought the rest from the seedling lady at Hornsby markets.  Then in September I put in another heap of sweetcorn seed.  Four germinated and those shorties at the front are also courtesy of the seedling lady in Hornsby. sigh.

Though slightly dismayed - which you kind of get used to when you have such regular gardening disasters as I do - am not put off.  Here is the other half of that bed.  I've just pulled up all the bolting lettuce and laid it over the soil to protect it a bit due to all the heavy rain we're getting at the moment (not that I'm complaining or anything).

I'm planning on putting seed in this bed in the very near future, so I reckon the seedling lady can expect another visit in around three weeks or so.

sigh.

I hereby declare this house organised.

I know that I can be hellish bad at follow up posts. Ones which talk about know how I went with the tidying, or if I actually sold the child on ebay etc...

So here we have it, a follow up post.  There's a lot of good news :)...

Firstly, I was talking the other day about getting the house straight and organised before we hit the Christmas holidays, and also that the Universe had conspired against me every time I tried to do anything.  Well, the Universe did not stop conspiring, it never does, BUT I did manage to get the house in order and organised by Miss 4s party on Sunday.

It was a struggle.  It was boring and fricking hard work, but as I sit here, and things are in order (yes, there is a bit of random untidyness and the dishwasher needs unloading and the clothes need hanging out...) I really feel that the huge effort was worth it. I've got a sense of having things under control for the first time in weeks.

So the house is orderly. What of our finances...

As most of you know we've struggled with credit card debt since our annus horribilius last year, when we had a long period of no income.  We arrived in 2010 in arrears to practically every telco and utilities company in Australia - and, can I just add, we were really up front about our situation and our plans to pay what we owed and they were all great about it - this is in addition to a maxed out credit card.  Since then we've worked hard to dig ourselves out of that hole - which has also been horrible and boring and stressful and awful.

We've paid off debt as fast as we can, so by the end of July we were straight with everyone except the rates bill and the Credit Card.  I had set up a payment plan with the council and we had a schedule of payments organised for the credit card, and it was looking like we'd be debt free by March 2011.  But hubs did his tax and the refund exactly covered the remainder of the credit card and the amount owing to the council.

So, as of yesterday, we have no debt aside from the mortgage.

It doesn't feel real yet.  I'm so used to stressing about money that I'm automatically worrying about the cost of a celebrationary afternoon tea at T2.  Hubs is in dire need of new jeans and I have a pretty desperate bra situation happening - but a part of me is refusing to believe that its going to be okay to spend money on new clothes.  I'm pretty sure I'll get over it :).

One thing I am totally sure of though, I never, ever, want to go through it again.

:)

Birthday cake

So today was Miss 4's early birthday party.

Yesterday I made the cake.
Started with this...

Progressed to this (those are marshmallow ghosts on the cake, it being a, somewhat late, halloween theme)...

And ended up like this...

Smitten Kitchen's red velvet cake - it was amazing, a light moist chocolate cake, with a cream cheese icing (same as what you'd put on a carrot cake).

Its been a great day :)

Fly trap update

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for their kind comments about my norks on Sunday's post.  It has completely inspired me and I have decided to copy Guccimama and have Half Naked Thursday on my blog - yes, henceforth I shall be plastering my nekkid bits... oh as IF.

And, to the person who emailed me to inform me that if you zoom in on that photo, you can get them up to almost life size - I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Anywaaaaaay.

I am sick with a rotten cold AND my life has exploded.  When I woke up this morning I had decided I could just about send Miss 4 back to school with a clear conscience (when I picked her up this afternoon the front of her top was crispy with snot - goddammit - tomorrow I'll dose her up with drugs so its not so obvious I'm a bad bad mother) and was looking forward to a few days during which I had nothing to do except execute a well organised countdown to Miss 4s birthday party this weekend.

Sigh.

Within the space of four emails and two text messages I ended up with about 45 MILLION other urgent things to do, AND hubs is dealing with a massive massive crisis at work so I haven't seen him for days, AND I had a huge panic about the party this afternoon and ended up running around random supermarkets with a Very Runny Nose and No List.

I cannot even remember what I bought.  Well, I do remember the gigantic packet of chips, because I ate them, and I spent the afternoon teaching my children to suck M&Ms onto the end of a straw and drop them in a bowl (you could Feel The Serenity in our house for an entire half hour once they got the hang of it) and I know for a fact that M&Ms were not in my vicinity pre-shopping.

Um.  So. Flytrap.

Not a success.  I think that one fly died of boredom.

Hmm.