Brief Update

1. Children - still driving me insane - BRING ON SCHOOL. They have taken to stealing and hoarding food (I blame their father).
2. Puppy, cute as ever. Still peeing randomly about the house. Seem to spend my entire life cleaning up shit, but am frequently unsure if it is his or 1. above.
3. Vege garden. Doing very nicely now cooler weather has killed all the slugs. Out of season random seed selection planted by 1. above all growing. Kind of.
   
4. Orchard. Fruit trees have arrived and despite repeated nagging nobody has dug holes for them to live in. DIG ME A HOLE (okay five). I gave birth to your 1. above. AND they cut my perineum with a pair of scissors when I did it. A PAIR OF SCISSORS. Is it so much to sodding ask?
5. Counselling. Going nicely thank you.
6. PMT. Present and accounted for. My boobs hurt.
7. Dailybooth. You will have noticed I have taken to plastering more of myself across the internet on a daily basis. I have no idea why I am doing this - only all those trendy Gen Zed-types are doing it; and I just like photographing myself and then laughing at my double chin. Please feel free to email me and a) be amazed I am a natural blonde, b) tell me I'm vain or c) relate a long story about having your perineum snipped with SCISSORS whilst you were WATCHING d) bitch about someone who won't dig you a hole when you ask.
8. Mother's Day - Got a wii fit. It thinks I'm 55 and I have to come up with reasons why I'm putting on weight AND heavier clothes or child attached to leg are not on the excuse menu. Sniff. A wii fit does not make up for 1., 4. and 7. above.
   
9. Went riding. Predictably painful experience. Going again tomorrow, will try to remember to take some photos. Made tit of self asking what the "horse (like a horse you'd have in the gym to do back flips over)" apparatus in the stable was - was treated to description of how sperm is extracted from boy horses. WHICH I KNEW (having studied Equine Studies some years ago) but was just having a brain-fried moment. Truthfully, I had hoped never to be reminded.
   
10. Ikea: I have to go to Ikea to get a big girls bed for Miss Three. If I went to Ikea now, when suffering from 6. above the problem would not so much me lying on a display bed and sobbing when I got tired. But more coming home with $400 worth of impulse bought woven baskets.

SIGH.