Yesterday I took the screamies to MacDonalds. For a treat. They'd been pretty fractious all day, oh OKAY, even more fractious than usual and I Just Had To Get Out. Preferably to somewhere where they couldn't break anything. I thought McDonalds was an inspired idea.
So, despite the distraction of the playground I got them to sit and eat nicely without too much drama. Then sent them off to play. The playground was quite busy, and I was happy to sit and watch. They're all so cute. Playing away. MacDonalds was busy, there was a meeting of all the local Managers in the party room that overlooks the playground. One by one the other kids headed home and soon it was just us. It was all good.
Until Miss Nearly Three peered down from the very top of the equipment.
"I'm going to take all my clothes off," she said. I tried my extreme very best to talk her out of it. But one by one each item of clothing was stripped off, shoved through the gaps in the lattice to land on the floor. The final item being her somewhat soggy nappy. Splat.
She peered at me again. "I'm not coming down."
And not come down she did. FOR AN HOUR.
So I'm standing there, with the most stubborn naked three year old on the planet, holed up in the top of the play equipment, trying to talk her down. Threats, bribery, leaving, waving bye bye, sending her sister to get her. NOTHING. The little bugger was not moving. The managers and other Maccers customers were vastly amused.
Did I mention it was very hot yesterday? Yes. And up the top of that equipment it was even hotter. I could tell by the colour of her face she was feeling it, naked or not.
"I'm going to sleep now," she announced, and curled up to do just that. Frankly, if it hadn't been so hot I'd have left her there, had a coffee and waited until she got really, really bored. (And this is the child that nagged for three hours non stop to make me let her wear her sisters shoes - I did not). But it was hot, and I'd started to get worried. So off came my shoes and I climbed up the slide and managed to get myself up there with her, tackled her and hauled her down.
Do you have ANY idea what it is like to appear at the bottom of a slide grasping a screaming naked child in front of a resturant of grinning people and twenty or so managers? ANY IDEA.
I pretended like this was what happened on a daily basis at my house. Oh wait a sec. IT DOES. Got her dressed and made a dash for the exit. Of course the door directly onto the carpark was locked so I had to run the gauntlet through the resturant and Not Make Eye Contact with anyone.
Hubby came home from work early because I just didn't think I'd make it through the afternoon.