The Chook News - Edition III

Drama in Hen House


In news just in, there has been a marked increase in swarking, clucking and Ill Humour coming from the direction of Chook Run.  Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "I've been expecting something like this."


Further investigation has revealed a difficult situation.

An Australorp, referred to as either Pecky or That Wretched Hen; very warm, very cross and refusing under any circumstances to leave her nest.  


Broodyness has entered The Coop.


It is reported that in a moment of uncontrollable temper Pecky pecked the hand that feeds her.  Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "This is my fault for letting the kids call her Pecky."


The situation causing much consternation amongst the other members of The Coop.  


Egg Laid On Head


Late yesterday afternoon Karen Francis Chicken (KFC to friends and family) whilst possessed by a desperate urge to lay an egg, was dismayed to find her favourite nest Occupied.  Much leg crossing, hopping from one foot to another and turning in circles ensued.


Squarking, pecking and bickering did nothing to resolve the situation. Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Oh like I can get chickens to resolve conflict, look how my children behave."


Matters were resolved without further intervention when KFC made herself comfortable on the nest with its vile tempered occupant and laid her egg, oblivious to the deep distress she was causing.


Sunlight a Cure


Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Dad, I don't care that your mad Grandmother used to sit broody chickens on a bowl of ice and put an upturned bucket on top of them, until they got over it. I am not doing that to my chicken."


Repeated referral to The Chook Book and other poultry references has revealed that broodyness is gently cured by sunlight and fresh air. An investigation into Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas's fridge has revealed an egg-glut of 38 eggs.  This dire situation goes some way to explaining her deep ambivalence about the fact that Pecky is not laying at the moment, and her final statement about the situation; "I think we'll let nature take its course."


Check back for minute-by-minute updates on developments as they happen.

The Chook News - Edition II

PRODIGAL CHICKEN RETURNS

In news just in, there is rejoicing tonight at The Coop. Pecky, The Prodigal Chicken, has returned.  Thus far she has refused to comment on her whereabouts though a close personal friend has suggested she may or may not have been hanging out at Robbie Williams house.  Local F-list celebrity and relieved Landlord, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Wait a sec, four chickens? What the ... ?"

Ms Nicholas then rang The One Who Forgets To Shut The Coop At Night to check that one chicken had indeed gone missing the previous day and a comprehensive search of the property had been carried out.  When this was unequivocally confirmed there was much head-scratching (Nits have been ruled out as a cause). It has been concluded that when Certain People water dowsed on the weekend they opened up a hole in time and Pecky fell through it.  There have been unconfirmed reports that she gave Bird Flu to everyone in the future and we are all DOOMED. DOOOOOOMED I tells ya.


HEARTFELT APOLOGIES TO NEXT-DOOR KELPIE AND LOCAL PIGEONS OF PREY
Relieved Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Er, about that whole murder accusation yesterday.  Bygones? Yes?"

A member of The Coop who wished to remain anonymous doubts the washing will ever go un-shat-upon again (by the birds).  The Next-Door Kelpie was heard to mutter that she was a patient dog. A very patient dog.

CHICKENS FOUND LIVING IN SQUALOR

Caught here running for cover, members of The Coop were ashamed to admit that they live in a compost heap.  Somebody was heard to mention that they only stayed around for the Day Old Bread with  buttermilk/whey that arrived around about lunchtime.  Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "What? I do the poo-hosing and compost digging on Saturday, if you don't bloody like it then do it yourself."  Unconfirmed reports suggest that she then stormed off in a snit.

:)