Watermelon

Yes, watermelon, that would be the shade of my face earlier on today. Have been to the gym, for a fitness test. Managed to do 17 pushups in 60 seconds - who knew! Lugging the small but dense screamies about the place must have given me more upper body strength that originally assumed.

Still, it was around about push-up 16 that I got a weird tearing sensation across the front of my chest.

Yes, I thought I was having a heart-attack as well. At that point I wouldn't have minded much because I would've got to lie down and not move.

But, thankfully, nothing so dramatic. Have managed to pull all the muscles in my left arm and across my chest. So it really hurts when I hang out the washing. I KNOW. Have resigned from all washing hanging duties in order to look after my health and spend more time with my family. SEE. I could've been a sportstar. I can talk in nothing but cliches.

Yes, 36 years old, 10kgs overweight and I harbour fantasies about being an elite athlete.

Who said I wasn't an optimist?