Introducing the NEW Bane of my Life

Up until now the bane's of my life have included the following...

Him

And him

And her

And also her

Yes, my cup runneth over, not necessarily in that order.

However, I now have one more item to add to this list.

OH DEAR GOD

Miss 6 has taken-up tap dancing.  Our house has wood or slate floors.

At first she was reticent to practice at home, but with some encouragement from ME (yes, I never learn), she now has her tap shoes adhered to her feet.

I get a 'going to bed' tap dance, a 'wake up in the morning' tap dance (my clear favourite), an 'I've done my homework' tap dance, a 'just because I love tap dancing' tap dance, and even a pre-dinner I-won't-eat-until-I've-practiced tap dance.

sigh.

Happy Birthday Miss 6

Its been a busy year...

In August 09, she went to the Blue Mountains and looked at trains.

In September, George (that's the bear) came from pre-school for a visit

In October, she went to the Baby Proms on a bright blustery day at the Opera House

In November, she discovered the webcam on Mummy's computer (and realised that she was stuck with those individuals behind her for life).

In December Pre-School came to an end and she performed in the End Of Year concert.

In January she had a long hot summer holiday.

In February she started big school and discovered chess.

In March she discovered her Mother's wardrobe

In April she went Apple Picking at Bilpin

In May she held up the family tradition of being underwhelmed over School Sport's Carnivals, and then upheld the other family tradition of being very enthusiastic about Licking Out The Bowl.

And in June she went to Caves Beach and gazed at the sea and wondered what was on the other side. (New Zealand. Where? New Zealand. That sounds funny. Well it is funny, they say things like fush... for fish... )

And all that, started out like this...

:)

Baking Makes It All Better... well except for Mother Guilt

Bread rolls, made with fresh yeast about to go into the oven.  Right now my house smells beautiful,  yeasty and bready and cosy.

Have been in the kitchen this morning.  Its been a rather tough day in the children department and though I had grand plans for cleaning the bathrooms and washing beds, instead I've just pottered in the kitchen, mulling things over and keeping my hands busy.

Miss 5 is an anxious child, and since her school had its practice "Stranger alarm" - where the kids practice what to do if there is a 'stranger' on campus - her anxiety has exploded into a full blown phobia centring on the school bell (she tries to hide each time it rings). It also includes a terror of our back garden (after the black snake incident) and bugs/spiders of any kind.  These days she refuses to go outside at all.

I spoke to Miss 5's teacher about the bell thing on Tuesday, after she came home and told me that she'd been so scared by the school bell ringing for a little longer than usual that she'd hidden.  Her teacher was aware of the problem and we chatted about a few strategies to deal with it. Then this morning there was a car alarm going off in the car-park and Miss 5 fell apart, convinced that it meant there was a stranger, coming to get her. 

I marched her up to school, being all no-nonsense about it, but when we got there she was white faced, shaky and crying.  So I stayed to calm her down and talk to her teacher again.  As we were waiting outside the classroom the first bell rang and in a state of overwhelming panic Miss 5 sprinted off across the playground looking for somewhere to hide.  Not even the fact that her mother was standing right there was enough to stop her.

I rang the school counsellor the moment I got home and the upshot is that Miss 5 is, at this very moment, starting on their program for kids with anxiety issues.  She'll get ongoing support, activities to do at home and a chance to talk things through with someone trained to be no-nonsense or sympathetic at the right times - which will be something of a change from her mother who, it appears, is gifted in getting it wrong every single time.

Holy Crap this parenting business is hard work.  I know kids are born the way they're born (hell, look at Miss 4, who invented a new game last night where you hide under the table and then try to poke your opponent in the eye with a pen - mummy didn't handle that well either).  I know that I'm rattled because even though I've loved and protected Katie all her life, she ran away from me in panic and not to me.  I know, as well, that she is in the grip of a phobia, and an unreasonable level of anxiety, and that she's not thinking straight, or even thinking at all. 

But, I do still wonder, as I'm baking away in my kitchen, if I have failed somewhere.  If I could've done it all a bit differently.  Yes. Mother Guilt. I has it badly.

Sigh.

The Ladies

I've done my sodding back. Am in a sizeable amount of pain and unable to bend or even pick up so much as a laundry basket. OH okay, it was just twinge-ing but then we got Wii Fit plus and I spent half the afternoon beating the kids into a pulp on the Wii Fit and now I cannot move. Woe. Is. I.

This has led to me spending the other half of the afternoon parked on the couch watching kid's tv and periodically bellowing "Get the f*** away from the chickens," at the dog.

You see the chickens are fulfilling part of their role in the garden, clearing out the weeds and bugs from one of the vege gardens before I plant the spuds. We've set them up a mini-run which, whilst it is dog-proof, the dog can get quite close to them and they don't like it AT ALL - much squawking.  They go back to their proper run in the evening.

I'd like to add that the dog wouldn't hurt the chickens should he happen to get his paws on one. See, utterly harmless.

The chooks are settling in wonderfully and growing every day.  I'm completely delighted with them, the coop is working well,  they're not too much trouble, and its like they've always been here.

Miss 5 horrified her father this afternoon when he got home though.  She saw the dog sneaking up to the chook run and, without moving from the couch she bellowed, "Get the F*** away from the chooks Sebby."

I have no idea where she picks these things up from. No. Idea. At. All.

:)

The Talk

Big moment for me yesterday.  Trip to Borders to buy Where Did I Come From?

"Ah," said the shop assistant. "That time has arrived."

Well it had. Kind of.

You see it wasn't Miss 5 had actually asked the question, but I was listening to her discussing the difference between boys and girls with her sister.  Hair length seemed to be the determining factor, but she knew girls could have short hair too, and there things trailed off into a confused silence.

So we get the book home and I'm not even given the chance for a calming cup of tea before I am steered in the direction of the rocking chair and handed the book.  In fact we didn't get very far.  She was only interested for a few minutes and then went off to find something else to do, and I left it at that.

I didn't think she'd taken that much in until later on; Her latest passion is rhyming words and we're going through her usual list... bat-mat, star-car, shoe-poo, chocolate-pockolate... when she turns to me and says "vagina - ?"

Damned if I can think of anything that rhymes with vagina except for angina - which then opened up another whole can of worms.

sigh.

Day of Excrement

My day in bullet points...

• 2.30am Smaller screamie discovers every action has an attached consequence, ie, if you remove your nappy after lights-out then at some point you are going to wake up cold and soaking wet.
• 5.30am Cat needs to have a wee
• 5.37am Cat discovers it is very cold outside and comes back in
• 6.10am Cat needs to have a wee
• 6.15am Entire family gets up
• 8am Counselling - plum depths of subconscious, find nothing of interest
• 9am Swap cars/children with hubby; he heads off to mumndads for a day of manual labour, cups of tea and chatting (more of the latter than the former)
• 9.30am Take children to The Mall to buy cake for playdate
• 9.40am Leave The Mall with two gingerbread men but no cake
• 10am Drop off children to playdate
• 10.10am Run around like a headless chicken gathering supplies for our forthcoming Halloween party
• 1pm Pick up children
• 1.04pm Discover the Smallest Screamie has had an accident of monumental proportions in her pants
• 1.15pm Get home and spend a happy fifteen minutes in the bathroom sorting out the accident
• 1.35pm Find Larger Screamie has had a similar but slightly more daunting accident in the other bathroom
• 1.37pm Get back in the car to go to the second playdate of the day
• 3.37pm Arrive home from two hours of drinking tea, gossipping and eating caramel crowns
• 4pm Bribe children into silence with a gigantic bag of Cheese&Bacon balls (Yes, it seemed like a Good Idea at the time) - and attack both bathrooms with a lot of bleach and lavender oil
• 4.45pm Clean breakfast detritus from kitchen
• 5.30pm Attempt to feed hyperactive and over-tired children
• 5.45pm Feed children's untouched meals to dog
• 6.10pm Cook Laksa - using Ayam brand Laksa sauce
• 6.12pm Hubby gets home
• 6.13pm Taste Laksa
• 6.15pm Ring for Thai take-away. Never in my life have I tasted anything so vile as that laksa (well maybe except for the Aldi chicken stock that didn't have any chicken in it).
• 6.3opm Get home with take-away; Phone is ringing
• 6.31pm Take over bath time from hubby who is on important call
• 6.51pm Get everyone through bath time; smile tensely at lengthy Christmas present discussion
• 7pm Smallest Screamie wees on floor next to toilet
• 7.01pm Retire to television with dinner for the safety of rest of family
• 7.03pm Glance over to find dog eating cushion...

• 7.06pm Realise that the dog has done a wee on the floor next to where he killed my cushion - and yes, that is a lit fire at the top of the photo - its October and TWELVE degrees outside. Two days ago we hit thirty-four.
• 7.10pm Crack open the Violet Crumbles

• And now at 8.34pm I am feeling deeply queasy and going to bed.

sigh.