Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Day of Excrement

My day in bullet points...
  • 2.30am Smaller screamie discovers every action has an attached consequence, ie, if you remove your nappy after lights-out then at some point you are going to wake up cold and soaking wet.
  • 5.30am Cat needs to have a wee
  • 5.37am Cat discovers it is very cold outside and comes back in
  • 6.10am Cat needs to have a wee
  • 6.15am Entire family gets up
  • 8am Counselling - plum depths of subconscious, find nothing of interest
  • 9am Swap cars/children with hubby; he heads off to mumndads for a day of manual labour, cups of tea and chatting (more of the latter than the former)
  • 9.30am Take children to The Mall to buy cake for playdate
  • 9.40am Leave The Mall with two gingerbread men but no cake
  • 10am Drop off children to playdate
  • 10.10am Run around like a headless chicken gathering supplies for our forthcoming Halloween party
  • 1pm Pick up children
  • 1.04pm Discover the Smallest Screamie has had an accident of monumental proportions in her pants
  • 1.15pm Get home and spend a happy fifteen minutes in the bathroom sorting out the accident
  • 1.35pm Find Larger Screamie has had a similar but slightly more daunting accident in the other bathroom
  • 1.37pm Get back in the car to go to the second playdate of the day
  • 3.37pm Arrive home from two hours of drinking tea, gossipping and eating caramel crowns
  • 4pm Bribe children into silence with a gigantic bag of Cheese&Bacon balls (Yes, it seemed like a Good Idea at the time) - and attack both bathrooms with a lot of bleach and lavender oil
  • 4.45pm Clean breakfast detritus from kitchen
  • 5.30pm Attempt to feed hyperactive and over-tired children
  • 5.45pm Feed children's untouched meals to dog
  • 6.10pm Cook Laksa - using Ayam brand Laksa sauce
  • 6.12pm Hubby gets home
  • 6.13pm Taste Laksa
  • 6.15pm Ring for Thai take-away. Never in my life have I tasted anything so vile as that laksa (well maybe except for the Aldi chicken stock that didn't have any chicken in it).
  • 6.3opm Get home with take-away; Phone is ringing
  • 6.31pm Take over bath time from hubby who is on important call
  • 6.51pm Get everyone through bath time; smile tensely at lengthy Christmas present discussion
  • 7pm Smallest Screamie wees on floor next to toilet
  • 7.01pm Retire to television with dinner for the safety of rest of family
  • 7.03pm Glance over to find dog eating cushion...
  • 7.06pm Realise that the dog has done a wee on the floor next to where he killed my cushion - and yes, that is a lit fire at the top of the photo - its October and TWELVE degrees outside. Two days ago we hit thirty-four.
  • 7.10pm Crack open the Violet Crumbles
  • And now at 8.34pm I am feeling deeply queasy and going to bed.

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