Then I read Jane Porters Blog. She's not having the most wonderful time at the moment either, and when I got to the sentence where she said
“I’ve done my best,” I said. “I’ve given you everything. I don’t know how to be less, or do anything different.”
I burst into tears. She's referring to her publisher here, but for me, it could have been how I feel about my kids right now. I just don't know how to make everyone better and happy. I don't know what else to try.
So anyway, after much cajoling (mostly on hubbys part) the kids are finally asleep and I plug myself into iTunes and get down to finishing Chapter 3 of the Bunker. Then, all of a sudden Hubby calls me, and I follow him outside and there, like a silver ghost is Eddie.
"Eddie" I shriek and the poor animal takes off over the fence in terror.
He reappears a few minutes later. He's fine. Much, much thinner but in good condition. So we think he must have been trapped in someones shed or similar, as the weather has been horrible and he definitely hadn't been outside for five days, and he must have had access to water as he wasn't thirsty, just hungry.
I'm walking on air. Can't describe the joy. My prodigal pussycat has returned. Yes, am so overwhelmed am getting biblical.
I was however plunged rapidly back to earth.
Took Ella out for a walk, and as I'm powering along oblivious to anything except my iPod a dark shape streaks towards us. Its a Blue Heeler and it went, teeth bared, straight for poor Ella. I didn't actually think how to react. I just started shrieking 'get away, get away,' at the top of my voice and kicking the dog whenever it got near Ella. Its very portly owner came sprinting up the road yelling "Don't worry, I'm coming, I'm coming..." The dog had a lead on and from the looks of it, it'd just made a break when it saw Ella and the owner accidentally let it go. It took him a few seconds, but he grabbed his dog and then Ella and I made a run for it.
No damage done to me or her.
But still. It seems that all my small creatures, dogs, cats and children, are in turmoil. Lost, then returned, endlessly screaming in frustrated rage, and nearly savaged. You can understand when I wonder what on earth the universe is trying to tell me.