Sunday, July 31, 2011

Worst First Lines - for 2011

The results for the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction competition for the worst first lines are in.

My favourites are...

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.
Sue Fondrie
Oshkosh, WI
As his small boat scudded before a brisk breeze under a sapphire sky dappled with cerulean clouds with indigo bases, through cobalt seas that deepened to navy nearer the boat and faded to azure at the horizon, Ian was at a loss as to why he felt blue. 
Mike Pedersen
North Berwick, ME 
Detective Kodiak plucked a single hair from the bearskin rug and at once understood the grisly nature of the crime: it had been a ferocious act, a real honey, the sort of thing that could polarize a community, so he padded quietly out the back to avoid a cub reporter waiting in the den. 
Joe Wyatt
Amarillo, TX 
Convinced that the fabled Lost Treasure of Eggsbury was concealed within the statue of the beloved Sister Mary Francis in the village square, Professor Smithee would steal away in the darkest hour of each night to try to silently chip away at her impervious granite vestments – a vain and fruitless nightly exercise, he well knew, but it was a hard habit to break.
Rodney Reed
Ooltewah, TN
You can read the rest of the entries here.

3 people love me:

Sue Webber said...

LMAO! I had having to read all that nonsense in books, I generally skip past all that! :D

Mel said...

Those are bloody awful.

Tenille @ Help!Mum said...

LOL That second one is a pearler; it must be from a comedy.