Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I have no idea what to write anymore

I've been blogging for a long time. Six years in fact.  You could almost call me old school.  When I started to blog it was intended as a way of communicating with family and friends as I could not keep up with the number of emails I was having to write.  So my aim for this blog was for it to be an online diary of my little family's life.

Readers have come and gone, I've been voted 38th Best blog in the country (thanks Kidspot) and always, but always, I have taken pride and delight in the community that has evolved here.

As the popularity of blogs has increased so have the how-tos that float about, advice has included...

  • People only read the first paragraph, 
  • keep it down to 160 characters because that's all people think in now, 
  • include photos, 
  • be informative, 
  • don't be informative, 
  • No, you MUST BE FUNNY
  • Comment on everyone else's blog if you want them to comment on yours
  • Include your children,
  • Dont include your children unless you want to be accused of exploiting them,
  • Be real,
  • If you are real be prepared for nasty people to enjoy ripping you to shreds,
  • have a theme, 
  • have a press page, 
  • advertise, 
  • make money, 
  • get overwhelmed, 
  • give up entirely...

Mostly I ignore this bullshit and walk to the beat of my own drum.  I am a writer, and I write a lot.  I like putting up photos, even if they are of my manky apples, so that is what I do.  I have purposefully steered away from all but un-obtrusive advertising as I am not here to make a fortune (and who wants belly fat ads repeating over and over)... and so on.

Over time I've limited and limited what I write about here.  The kids got older, I battled PND, we had financial issues, marriage issues, I stepped back from my writing career, we lived (and still live) under incredible stress, and at the end of it all discovered that our child had aspergers.  I failed. I failed more times and in more ways than I ever imagined, and you know, I just didn't want those things hanging about on the internet for the rest of eternity.

Now I sit here and I don't know what to write any more.  Mostly in the blogging world I'm seeing either complete dross, with blogs spouting more bullshit than all the 'women's magazines' put together.  It didn't used to be here, that crap about how you 'must have a facial every 6 - 8 weeks - it will save you money, as blemishes are costly' (WTF??).  Or I'm seeing the other end of the scale, Bloggers gaily writing about themselves sitting on the toilet, how the kid saw the tampon string, and how the latest apparently hilarious blog topic is the subject of the camel toe.  Ug.

I suppose I just don't know where I fit into all this anymore.  I actually found myself stressing about how the blog doesn't have a theme.  Then I tried to convince myself that the theme is me and my life, then I stressed again because isn't that breathtakingly self-absorbed?  Then I ate all Miss 6s jersey caramels and had to go to the shop to buy more.

So does this post have a point.  Well, good question, I was just wondering that myself.
No. Not really.
I suppose I'm saying that this blog has become hard to write.  That I'm feeling directionless at the moment. That I'm working on it.  That I'm thinking of things.  That maybe it'll change, or maybe it won't.  But mostly that its hard to front up and crap on some days.  Yep. That's what I'm saying.

11 people love me:

Maxabella said...

If you keep writing posts like this one, you'll be my new blogging guru. I hear you, I agree, I think you're awesome, keep writing, but only when you feel like it. x

Veronica said...

I like your garden photos and everything else you choose to put up here.

I've been feeling the same way about blogs - I read blogs for the REAL, not for the beauty magazine crap. It's all a bit much.

amlokmer1 said...

Blogs are my imaginary friends and I was reading loads of them before deciding to start my own. I think if you "listen" to too much on how to make your blog stupendous then it becomes too manufactured and probably not what you wanted anymore . Treat it as a creative outlet for yourself, and if you love it and write with love the right readers will come along. Unless you're interested in making loads of money out of it, cater it to yourself and not who is possibly out there. And do you really want a specific theme? The theme is you, bedazzle it if you want (a bit of retail therapy for the blog if you need it). When your moments of brilliance arise share with us, if you want to spill the beans about your day (crappy or brilliant) use your blog. But it's also ok not to do so. Poo to all the rules, they just give me a headache. Enjoy your blog because it is the way you want. I sometimes write rubbish, sometimes have a recipe, photos, and sometimes, somewhere, something shines (and then sometimes I feel like holding cyber hands with other bloggers and sing kumbaya).

farmer_liz said...

I enjoy your writing style, so it doesn't really matter to me what you write about!

Veggiegobbler said...

Oh dear - that list of do's/don'ts is enough to give anyone writer's block. I hope you keep doing what you're doing.

Simply Belinda said...

been there, to a certain extent still there although I don't know I could successfully find the time to blog atm either way

It's important to be talking to someone about the crappy but you absolutely get the choice about what form and who.  Those of us out here think you're pretty awesome.. not because you're perfect but because you're you.

Kind Regards

Greenie Canberra said...

Oh Caitlyn - I so hear where you're coming from. I'm just crawling out of a darkish place myself - and I didn't blog at all for weeks. It's still pretty slow, but I find a lot of support from a lot of different people in blog-land. And I found your blog post more interesting and more real than ANY women's magazine. Although, I haven't come across the blog about the woman sitting on the toilet and the tampon string ... that did bring a smile to my face - weird huh?!?!
Sending smiles and good vibes to you - write again when you feel like it - not when you think you SHOULD!
Greenie x

Deb Culmer said...

I'll read whatever you write, I think you're hilarious and I wish you were my neighbour.  However, if it is causes more problems than it solves don't do it.  I'm pretty bored with my blog and I think everyone else is too but when I tried abandoning it I missed finding out what the rest of you were up to.

Caitlyn Nicholas said...

LOL :) Thanks Liz 

Phillipa P said...

What everyone else said 10 times over,  I enjoy reading your blog, I like your sense of humour, and while I don't always comment I would miss your posts.  Just keep on posting the same sort of real stuff.  

Georgie Tyler said...

You wrote this ages ago I know but I've only just read it. You are funny and witty and a fantastic writer, but you're human (and a woman) so if you don't want to make a point on IN YOUR BLOG then you don't have to. If you want to whinge and whine, then why not. And you don't need a facial because you have beautiful skin. SO there!