Mercury Retrograde

About three times a year the planet Mercury appears to go backwards, it doesn't of course, it just looks like it does due to the positions of Earth, Mercury and the Sun.

However, the thinking is that if Mercury is going backwards then astrological things associated with it will go backwards as well.

Hmmm.

• Businesses, travels and communications tend to experience delays and different problems.

I just spent over an hour in thirty degree heat, with two tired, howling children (one with a dirty nappy), with no food or water, travelling less than ten kilometres due to a truck fire on the motorway (all the traffic was forced onto the backstreets - bedlam).

• Computers and other processes that work with information may experience crashes, unexpected failures.

Lets not even mention my monumental stuff up with the database at work. Groan. I'd lost 1kg, as I so proudly announced the other day, but after a weekend of comfort eating over the whole database thing its all piled back on, plus a bit more. How can this be?? I mean I know because I was eating baaaad things, but HOW could I have put on over 1kg in four days. Fluid, it must be fluid. Please let it be fluid.

• Don't enrol in courses, don't buy expensive Mercurian items (books, cars, mobile phones etc.), don't sign important contracts and do not marry.

Expensive? Books? I don't think I've ever come across an expensive book. I wasn't planning to do any marrying, and there's nary a contract in sight at the mo, but I do wonder how all this will effect all the students enrolling at Uni next week. Hmm, I feel this does not bode well, perhaps I'll just stay home.

Did I mention my feet have gone orange? Yes, as part of the new me I bought some tanning moisturiser. Sigh. Now my legs look entirely untanned and my feet have gone orange. I suspect this may have a lot to do with Mercury as well. The dog loves the tanning moisturiser, whenever I put it on she follows me around, trying to l!ck my legs. Yes, its lovely.

And the toilet is making worrying bubbling noises. Are toilets influenced by Mercury? I hope not.

And ants invaded the cat food.

And the birds got all my tomatos.

And I've run out of nappies.

And I lost one of the kids birth certificates, cannot find the damn thing. Nowhere.

And... okay, I'll stop now.