Friday, January 30, 2009

Winds from the east...

Winds from the east... Mist comin' in... Like something's a brewin', about to begin... Can't put me finger on what lies in store... But I feel what's to 'appen, all 'appened before...
So today kicks off a gigantic period of change at our house. For everyone.

I handed in my resignation at work. Yes, I am, in effect, retiring at the ripe old age of 37. Oh how I wish I'd invested more in superannuation! Sigh. I'll be working short hours two days a week until easter, and then that's it. I become a dependent spouse after eighteen years supporting myself. Freaky does not even begin to describe it.

Why? I know its a cliche, but I'm planning on spending more time with my family. Over Christmas in particular, but before that as well, I stepped back and took a hard look at how things were developing at home. I didn't like what I was seeing. The stress levels in the house were unbelievable, and on a daily basis I was having to choose between paying the kids the attention they needed and getting a decent meal on the table (to pick one small example that doesn't even begin to cover it).

It just wasn't working and something had to give. So gradually and with much careful thought hubby and I decided that I would leave work. Part of me is relieved, a large part of me is disappointed as I love work and the social interaction, and a bit of me is apprehensive and worried I'm making an undoable mistake. Please don't let it be a mistake!! But most of me - including the depths of my heart - knows that I've made the right decision. Miss Four and a half is off to school next year, time is moving faster and faster as I get older and I don't want to wake up one morning with a couple of teenagers and wonder what the hell happened.

So. That is the first change.

Second change is for the kids. Miss Four and a half is off to proper pre-school next week, to begin her run up to primary school. Miss Finally Three has changed daycare to be closer and like her sister will be attending much shorter hours. I have also juggled the days so that I get one clear day with each child for extra special time together. I can't say how much I'm looking forward to that. When the kids are on their own and not competing, they're like different children and bliss to be around.

Today was the girls last day at the daycare they've attended since they were six months old. To say leaving was a wrench is the understatement of the year. I cannot give enough thanks to the wonderful patient women who I was able to trust completely with my babies, and who also supported me when I was struggling and in a place so dark and endless I never thought I'd escape.

By way of thanks I gave the staff a huge hamper of teas, coffees, biscuits and other treats - high fat, low fat, caffeine free, chocolate free, with extra chocolate, you name it, it was in there. I hope they enjoy, my goodness they deserve it. I made the kids cupcakes. I baked 58 (there were supposed to be 60 but about 2 worth of batter was eaten by the helpers) plus 12 mini cupcakes, so a total of 70.See, 70. Hubby did a wonderful job with the decorating.

The children kind-of understood they were leaving. They were both a bit hopeful it was their birthday suddenly (instead of all this boring waiting and waiting for months on end), as cake to them means birthdays. I think they're going to be so busy with the new places that it'll be a while before it all sinks in.

The final change around here will be for hubby. His work contract ends shortly and so he will be changing jobs. Given the grim economic outlook it has us sucking our teeth a little, but fingers-crossed it'll be fine.

Oh and let's not forget the puppy. I think maybe another puppy photo...Can there be too many puppy photos? Okay, answer that in a few weeks!

2 people love me:

Suzanne Brandyn said...

Winds from the east have sometimes a much better plan in mind. Winds from the east bring joy, hope and prosperity.
Gee Cait, you will find it different. Is this also so you can do more writing?

All the best, and keep in touch.
Suz :)

Emma said...

Wow, Cait, that's a lot of change! But it sounds like you know what you want, and you're going for it, so good for you! :) I hope we'll still keep in touch despite losing the "work" connection.