Thursday, February 02, 2012

Recycled: Going to get 'Bad Mother' tattooed on my forehead

Burblings from another time (ie an old post)...

I'm not good with hair or hairstyles.  I kept my hair mostly under a riding helmet until I was 20 and then, during my, "men must accept me as I am, and not how I look" phase, got a crew cut.  This style statement also marked the start of 'the celibate years.'

So here I am in 2010 faced with Miss 4 who has shoulder length flyaway hair that mats without even trying AND she has purple-faced screaming hysterics at the sight of a hairbrush.  And, Miss 6 who has the thickest hair ever, so thick I can't even get the hair elastics around it twice to hold it in place.

Suffice to say, the phrase 'neat and tidy' rarely applies to my children.

Given Miss 4s hairbrush issues and the fact I try very hard to pick my battles with the child, it is usual that she turns up at school with her hair scraped back into a slightly matted bunch, usually with bits of twig, toast crusts and the occasional small toy mixed up in it as well.

Hair washing is also a (purple faced screaming hysterically in a small echoey bathroom) issue, so generally I don't wash Miss 4s hair until it starts to smell funny, and when I do I slather it in conditioner and give it its fortnightly comb through/pick-over then.

Yesterday, when I sent Miss 4 to pre-school I knew that night would be hairwash night.  Dreadlocks were forming and I'd spent some time gently soaking a chupa chup stick out of it. However, when I arrived to pick her up her hair had been combed through and tied up in a neat hairstyle.

The teachers, bless them, unable to stand it a moment longer, had taken to her with a hairbrush.  And her reaction?  Calm and cheerful.

CALM AND SODDING CHEERFUL.

They are awesome wonderful ladies, oozing with tact, so they didn't say a word. But I could FEEL the thoughts. Oh yes I could.

I heard myself babbling; there was talk of miracles, and praise for their finely honed child management skills, and then I slunk away, mentally justifying my complete lack of motherly care all the way home in the car.

That evening I flung Miss 4 in the bath (she's always like baths its the hair bit that is the problem), and braced myself for the usual hair washing nightmare, only to have her calm and happy throughout, and spending a lot of time being a mermaid and asking meaningful questions about bubbles.

Brushed her hair this morning,  and she barely even looked up from her colouring in.

Have decided they're putting something in the water at that pre-school.

sigh.

13 people love me:

The Webbers living a life at the beach said...

I think that's a great plan, leave hair until unmanageable and let teachers do it! Marvelous idea! Michaels first day at nursery school was interesting in that when I went to pick him up the teacher said, 'Hes very confident isn't he?'
'Is he?'
"Yes he asked if he could go to the toilet, he was gone for sometime'
They then said they heard a loud voice yelling "I'm finished!"
They went to investigate as he asked 'Can you wipe my bum?'

Teachers just don't get paid enough, but it saved me the job!! :D

belinda said...

Ahh, peer pressure. Sometimes it does wonders for power struggles, at least in the short term.

Kind Regards
Belinda

Marita said...

ROFL

Oh lordy! I'm so there. Heidi loathes having her hair done and I usually leave it until I can stand it no longer.

I try to get it cut short once a month to at least make it more manageable.

Wish someone else would do her hair with similar awesome results.

Lyndel said...

Do you think the tattoo place will do a discount if we both go!!

Anonymous said...

I always can count on a good laugh when I visit here. lol..

I wish you all the best, in everything you do. :)

Unknown said...

LOL Sue!! I bet Michael LOVES that story :)

I know Belinda, am thinking this is probably short lived.

Oh Marita, at least she'll let you cut it. Mine flatly refuse. Good to know its not just me fighting hair battles though. :)

Lyn, I'll ring and find out!! Maybe send an email around the rest of the girls - I'm sure we're not the only ones.

Aw THANKS anon. Way to make my day with your lovely comment. How awesome are you :)

Suzanne Brandyn Author said...

Your blog always makes me smile as well, Cait.
I'd love to know what they did to make Miss 4 change her mind? lol..

Kamarine said...

I can relate. If I even look like I'm going to even dampen her hair, the noise works start.
You need to get the water. Bottle it. Sell it.

Di said...

I hear ya, I have a 4 year old girl - need I say more! It's amazing what they'll let other people do for them though.
When I have to cut the kids' hair, I make sure Playschool is on - complete distraction.
Love your blog, I'm going through some stuff at the moment, marriage break-up, blah, blah, blah. You always crack me up. THANKS!

Unknown said...

Thanks Suz :)

LOL Kamarine.

Ah Di, have been through that unhappy circus myself (before kids THANK GOD), but feel your pain and am totally chuffed that I can cheer you up, however briefly. Hang in there love.

Kamarine said...

I can relate. If I even look like I'm going to even dampen her hair, the noise works start.
You need to get the water. Bottle it. Sell it.

belinda said...

Ahh, peer pressure. Sometimes it does wonders for power struggles, at least in the short term.

Kind Regards
Belinda

Mel said...

This sure brings back memories.  Thanks for the laugh.