I've spent the last few days doing nothing much. Well, as anyone with a family knows nothing much still includes cooking, cleaning, washing... the usuals. But whilst the children have been at school I've been sleeping mostly, and drifting around the garden drinking tea - in between thunderstorms anyway. It seems the more I chill out the tireder I get, but I can feel that I am re-stocking reserves that were sucked dry about three days after Miss 5 was born and have never been replenished.
Today, after a long and stressful period of unemployment, hubby got a job. At this stage it's a three month contract, but doubtless it will turn into more. Its been a tough year financially for us, we have drained every reserve that we had, and were down to our last mortgage repayment in the bank. I really thought I was going to lose my lovely little house and beloved garden. But now, all of a sudden, we're both wandering around grinning in a state of dazed relief and the nightmare is over.
Not that it was ALL that awful. Aside from the no-income situation, having hubby home for most of the last year has been wonderful. Our relationship is stronger for it, and his relationship with the kids is very special. He has got fit, discovered a love of outdoors and gardens, AND learned how to fence a field - courtesy of my father. So, whilst I am beyond glad that he will be working again, I'm a little sad too, that he won't be around like he was. I'll miss him and all the cups of tea he makes :)
Both the kids are ridiculously happy at school. I had my reservations about sending Miss 4, my mind told me she was more than ready to go, but my heart worried that I was pushing her. But I was right to send her, she has blossomed in the last week, its like they've flicked a switch and she's suddenly discovered the world around her. Questions come thick and fast and she bursts into song the very second a singing mood descends on her. Miss 5, quiet and reserved though she is, is oozing contentment. We have lots of discussions about letters and she is so excited about learning to read. She told me this evening that she had something very important to ask me. What? What? "Can I join the chess club please?"
Holy hell, now I'm going to have to learn how to play chess properly.
So yes, having been felt like I've been hit by a bus for the last five years, I now find myself in a calm and welcome hiatus. I'm busy with Drive re-writes, but am gliding towards my deadline, calm and in control (okay well that is the mantra I am repeating when my brain starts going 'fuuuuuuuuuuuck 28th February, fuck, fuck, fuck...'). In March I'm expecting Bunker re-writes from my agent, and starting my Masters, so it would be prudent that Drive is not sitting in my To Do pile.
Peace, calm, joy. Apart from BASTARD SLUGS that ate my second lot of lettuce seedlings. But yanno, it wouldn't be me without a crisis.