Friday, December 11, 2009

Another kindi concert this morning and the kindi disco tonight and I've just whipped up a spectac picnic in the space of an hour... Phew. Then a party tomorrow and then we're clear until Christmas (apart from shopping, menu planning... oh you are all living it as well. I know this).

Wonderful Megan emailed me this today.  Made me laugh :)


Dear Santa,


I've been a good mum all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children
on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold
sixty-two cases of choc.bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the
school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over
several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red
crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and
who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.


Here are my Christmas wishes:


I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any colour, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the lolly aisle
in the grocery store.


I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
of my last pregnancy.


If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television
that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a
refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can
hide to talk on the phone.


On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes,
Mummy'
to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and
three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of
power tools.


I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the
living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice
seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be
heard by the dog.


If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being
served in a Styrofoam container.


If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten
the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare tomato sauce
a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful
if you could coerce my children to help around the house without
demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime
family.


Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a
safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in
and dry off so you don't catch cold.


Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the carpet.


Yours Always, MUM...!



3 people love me:

Miss 40 said...

FARK YEAH... love it!

xxxx

Being Me said...

Awwww and still manages to give a maternal health tip about not catching a cold as well.

Awesome. Might copy that one, in case I don't get any time to even write my first one for the next 18 years...

Miss 40 said...

FARK YEAH... love it!

xxxx