Thursday, December 03, 2009

Things that have been faintly unsucessful today

Its been a monumentally busy day here at our house.  Sped off to my old workplace, Macquarie University, early on - and found myself as enchanted with the place as ever, oh Mac Uni, I shall return to do my PhD in literature (I mean HELL, like m'sister is going to be the only one of us with a PhD, ahem) - got the documents I needed and then hurtled back to Centrelink to finalise a few odds and ends with them.  Of course being Centrelink there are still a billion other bits of paper they need, but yanno it was worth sitting in that wrist-slitting office with the lighting that sucks the colour and joy out of existence for an hour and a half, because now they believe me when I claim to be an Australian.

You know what really annoys me. REALLY?  The fact that because I was born in the UK I have to endlessly prove my Australian citizenship.  I officially became an Aussie back in 72, at the grand age of around three weeks old. I KNOW. How I could've existed for those first few weeks as a pommie I have No Idea.  And now 37 odd years later I am still waving around a grubby bit of paper that was presented to my mother all those years ago.

I mean I...
  • Have spewed out the back of a ute doing circle work in a paddock
  • Don't know the words to The Second Verse
  • Say Fark all the time
  • Own ugg boots that smell appalling and squelch even when dry
  • Know what a boat race is and refuse to enter them because I 'sip like a girl'
  • Cannot exist in a world where there is no beer, lamingtons, vegemite (or iSnack 1.0 as we like to call it), and thinks pavlova is tops.
  • I even had a boyfriend called BRUCE (alas I kid you not)
But apparently this is all irrelevant in the face of a handwritten, cat pee stained (don't ask) bit of paper issued by Australia House in London. Bureaucracy. I ask you.

Hmm. Yes. Digressing again. So, Centrelink - fairly unsucessful

Then I went shopping, forgot TOILET PAPER - which is a bit of a disaster actually - totally unsuccessful

Picked up the kids (remember them both (success) but both slightly more damaged than when they left this morning - just a few falling-over scrapes and bruises, no biggie - but still mildly unsuccessful)

Promised kids I'd make a strawberry smoothie.  All ready to go when I suggested we add a banana to the mix. Commence screaming.  Lure children from room to watch Barbie Christmas Movie (yes I have no soul), add banana to blender then pour in milk. SOMEONE (remember we call hubby someone) didn't put the seal on the blender. Milk pours out of blender onto bench and floor.  Kids return on hearing yelping. Ignore milk to fish out banana and hide in sink before they see it. Clear up mess. Convince children to return to movie. Fix blender. Add banana. Add more milk. Press on switch. A lot of noise but not very much action. OH GOD NO. Forgot to put blades back in. Kids attracted by noise of blender. Me desperately trying to stand in front of blender to hide banana and shove blades back in, kids equally desperate to Help Mummy.  Much shouting. But...

Get it all working in the nick of time. Smug and happy that children will consume that farking banana. WIN for me.  Such a rare win.

Children reject smoothies on grounds of strawberries (which they asked for) - completely unsuccessful. But I enjoyed them.

Then they decided to do a spot of face painting.

With texta.

That does not wash off.

sigh.

4 people love me:

Miss 40 said...

LMAO! Oh the JOY of being an Australian Mum!

FARK! WHAT A DAY!

xxxxx

Being Me said...

FARKEN 'ELL and stone the crows. What a day, indeed.

I sometimes type this for expressive effect, when I'm actually only smiling at the screen, but this time I truly am.... LMAO. It just rolled across the floor and bumped into the fridge.

Chantelle {fat mum slim} said...

Oh so Australian, I say!

What a day. x

Being Me said...

FARKEN 'ELL and stone the crows. What a day, indeed.

I sometimes type this for expressive effect, when I'm actually only smiling at the screen, but this time I truly am.... LMAO. It just rolled across the floor and bumped into the fridge.