Woe is I

It is pouring with rain. Here is my washing. All of it. And yes those are hubby's underpants in the middle of the shot. He's 6ft 5 and his underpants reflect his overall enormousness. In fact after four years of marriage they still make me laugh when I fold them up. How can anyone have such ginormous underpants??Anyway, the washing is not just a bit damp, its absolutely totally and utterly dripping.

DAMMIT.

Oh, its just been one of those days. Am exhausted due to sleepless night, inside with feral bored loud children and on day one of post holiday diet (did pork up rather due to all that eating).

So, at a loss as to what to do with the screamies I decided to make pumpkin soup out of pumpkins and have a go at a bit of Halloween craft at the same time. Yes. It seemed like a Good Idea at the time.

Here is our victim. No not the dog - am not yet that close to the end of my tether.

So without injury managed to get top off and start to scoop out insides. Kids were able to help with that bit. Note excellent and artistic drawn on pumpkin face. All my own work you know.

The flesh itself however is really hard to get out and after a good hour of scraping the screamies had buggered off and I was left to hack at it with any implement that I thought may make the job easier...

Note to anyone else trying this. Vegetable peelers are not good pumpkin gutting implements.

Two hours later we have enough pumpkin to make soup, my hands are orange, the children are orange (due to plastering each other with red and yellow paint which had to be brought out to distract them from trashing the house whilst I completed our project - I had come Too Far to let it go) and I am never ever carving pumpkins again.
And the finished result...

Yes, how completely LAME.

We do have pumpkin soup for dinner tho. Marvellous. Fucking bloody marvellous.

So, then managed to stretch morning tea into lunch and kept the screamies eating until nap time. Was looking forward for a nice sit down, cup of tea and a shower - hadn't actually managed to get dressed yet - ahem. Had nice low fat lunch (okay except for the mayonnaise, but I mean honestly how many calories can be in mayonnaise?) and then went to check on the kids. Miss Bugalugs was hanging around outside her room.

"I've done a poo," she said. Yes. Nothing new there, its happened twice a day for the last nearly three years. Not really bloggable. But what she didn't add was that she'd used it to redecorate her bedroom. I did nearly take photographs. Nearly. But there are limits to what I'd inflict on you guys. I shall not describe it either. Suffice to say teddy, monkey and Baby (a toy called Baby not Miss Bugalugs) are currently going around and around in a boil wash (there is a LOT of stuffing going around and around as well so it looks like we may have had a fatality) and the dog is outside for the foreseeable future (DO NOT ASK).

So, get that all cleared up and its time for our playdate with Diana up the road. Thank fucking christ. By this stage had postponed diet to tomorrow and stopped off to buy packet Tim Tams - I deserved them. No I did. Diana is one of my mother's group friends - a group of women I have blogged about before, who have kept me sane and grounded over the last four years - words cannot describe how awesome these girls are. So today is no exception. Diana sat me down, listened to me rant for an hour, made me two cups of tea, made me put the biscuits down and eat WATERMELON. I know. Watermelon. Given the state I was in that was akin to giving a rabid dog a snuggle. But she did it. What a friend.

I left feeling calm, in control and reassured that my children will not be decorating their bedrooms with their own excrement when they are say 15.

Naturally it all fell apart the moment we got home and I have eaten seven Tim Tams in the last hour, but for that three minute car trip I really thought I'd got a handle on the day.

Rang my mother to complain about the injustices of the day only to be informed she's off to Tetsuyas (posh nosh resturant - yes m'parents are worse about food than me). I wished her poo in her icecream.