Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Chook News
Chickens Sprung by Paparazzi
Notorious party animals, The Chooks, were spotted after dark hanging out on TOP of their coop by the Paparazzi last night. Worried that them camera things might Steal Their Soul they refused to sit still and look cute, and threatened strike action. However, Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, pointed out that it was past their bedtime and that the foxes would eat them if they didn't get in the damn coop this instant. The chooks responded with complete ambivalence and had to be persuaded into bed with a humane catch and release program.
Chickens Deny Claims of Racism
Appalled Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, claims that The Chooks dislike interracial relationships - despite being assured by the chook-breeder fellow at Barter&Sons that chickens are NOT racially intolerant.
It has been observed that The Chickens, whilst having no overt difficulty with Chooks of Other Colours, prefer to hang out with their own colour and rarely spend time with non-matching chickens. However, should there be a threat to the coop in the form of a salivating spaniel then its every chicken for herself and colour be damned.
An educational program is being put in place.
Chook Cracks Under Pressure
Hormones are stirring down at The Coop. Today, for the first time, one of The Chooks was heard to cluck. Up to this point there has been much cute but immature cheeping going on. Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "great, puberty riddled chickens, next they'll be laying eggs."
You are now up-to-date with The Chicken News. Watch this space for updates As They Happen.
Breaking News: Snails Rain From Sky
Earlier reports that The Apocalypse was upon us may have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of a biblical storm of snails falling from the sky as first assumed, it turns out it was just Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, "getting the damn snails out of the damn strawberry patch and feeding them to the damn chickens."
Apologies for any confusion or panic-stricken fleeing in the family car without the family.