Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Chook News

Chickens Sprung by Paparazzi

Notorious party animals, The Chooks, were spotted after dark hanging out on TOP of their coop by the Paparazzi last night.  Worried that them camera things might Steal Their Soul they refused to sit still and look cute, and threatened strike action. However, Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, pointed out that it was past their bedtime and that the foxes would eat them if they didn't get in the damn coop this instant.  The chooks responded with complete ambivalence and had to be persuaded into bed with a humane catch and release program.

Chickens Deny Claims of Racism

Appalled Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, claims that The Chooks dislike interracial relationships - despite being assured by the chook-breeder fellow at Barter&Sons that chickens are NOT racially intolerant.

It has been observed that The Chickens, whilst having no overt difficulty with Chooks of Other Colours, prefer to hang out with their own colour and rarely spend time with non-matching chickens.  However, should there be a threat to the coop in the form of a salivating spaniel then its every chicken for herself and colour be damned.

An educational program is being put in place.

Chook Cracks Under Pressure

Hormones are stirring down at The Coop.  Today, for the first time, one of The Chooks was heard to cluck.  Up to this point there has been much cute but immature cheeping going on. Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "great, puberty riddled chickens, next they'll be laying eggs."

You are now up-to-date with The Chicken News. Watch this space for updates As They Happen.

Breaking News: Snails Rain From Sky

Earlier reports that The Apocalypse was upon us may have been slightly exaggerated.  Instead of a biblical storm of snails falling from the sky as first assumed, it turns out it was just Landlord and Local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas, "getting the damn snails out of the damn strawberry patch and feeding them to the damn chickens."

Apologies for any confusion or panic-stricken fleeing in the family car without the family.


10 people love me:

Lyndel said...

Looks like it was a huge "Hens Night" at your place, you really crack me up!!

Quixotic said...

Damn! Someone stole my Hen's Night crack. Eggsellent reporting Cait!

Being Me said...

That was a cheep joke, Lyndel. Bwok bwok bwok, I cracked myself up.

I looooove chooks. They're hilarious (if you take them that way, which.... you obviously DO!). It's so cute when they start going from pullets to 'adult chooks' (we raised chooks throughout my entire childhood, they were our pets).

Kellyansapansa said...

I have to hen it to you - that was a great story!

Vicki said...

hmmm, pubescent chooks. Will that involve lots of under aging drinking and getting laid?

Being Me said...

Ow oh my sides!

The Duck Herder said...

hee hee thats a crack up. And I can confirm your "chickens of colour" findings with the results of a 10 year parralel longitudinal study happening down here in the ONC! (oops, theres another one of those exclamation marks - I promise I will limit myself to just one per comment)

...........And why would there be ANY issue with counting strawberry runners? None.


PS, Pepper looks like she has you so well trained she can take a little cat nap knowing you will still work like a dog.

life and the memoirs said...

Wonderfully written Caitlyn!! Too good :)

Caitlyn Nicholas said...

You guys are the best. I've read these comments about ten times today and they make me laugh without fail. Thanks for making this post great :)

Kellyansapansa said...

No, thank YOU!