Saturday, January 09, 2010

I resolve to never ever ever do these things again

A Blog This challenge on anti-resolutions.

I resolve that I will never, ever, ever...
  1. Take up archery as a sport - nearly de-nippled myself the first time 
  2. Drink an entire flagon of port - twenty years later and I still cannot smell the stuff without feeling deeply sick
  3. Bite off my fingernails and give them to the nearest friend as a present - yes, they all love me and my little ways
  4. Inform a senior editor at Mills&Boon that 'she wouldn't be interested in my book' - grooooan, excuse me whilst I just go bang my head on a solid object for a few minutes
  5. Bang head on solid objects - thought of that one just now
  6. Use hair-dye clearly marked NOT for natural blondes - it was hot pink for months - the original plan being that it would go auburn and I'd look exactly like Jane Seymour (What? I was 17)
  7. Flash my boobs at my husband in remote places of stunning natural beauty without first checking for bus loads of Japanese tourists with cameras
  8. Take no notice of my child when she says, "I'm going to bomit." In our house v is pronounced b.
  9. Do a home bikini wax - giving birth was more dignified, hurt less, and required less flexibility
  10. Ignore my intuition
Yes, I think I should manage to get through 2010 without breaking a single one of these - OKAY, even number 7.

    20 people love me:

    Melissa said...

    Didn't know there was a new challenge. Thanks for the heads up. This list is hilarious. Here's to NOT those things for you in 2010.

    Heather Boyd said...

    OMG - Laughing from no1 through to 10. I'm not as brave as you to put up a similar list.

    Suzanne Brandyn said...

    lol Cait. lol... I pictured the Japenese tourists and the bus, and lol... Oh my...

    I know what you mean about the port. I had a case with Sambuca. I can not stand the smell of it at all, and I used to love it. :)

    I guess we all learn from our mistakes. So charge ahead.

    Suz :)

    Being Me said...

    OMG I thought Suzanne wrote "I had a case OF Sambuca" and I was going to say...... you're still breathing?? That stuff is like rocket fuel!

    Your list is hee-hee-larious.

    Quixotic said...

    Good to know... was going to try out a home wax kit, but now I might pony up the cash for a salon job!!

    Quixotic said...

    Good to know... was going to try out a home wax kit, but now I might pony up the cash for a salon job!!

    Stephanie said...

    I nearly fell off my chair reading number 9. Awesome.

    Kellyansapansa said...

    Love it - not sure which is my favourite, but they all sound doable (except maybe #7). Good luck!

    Sharnanigans said...

    ahahahahahahahahaha cracking! funny! yet wise!

    Suzanne Brandyn said...

    LOL being Me,
    No way...that thought has repulsed me for life. You're so right about it being rocket fuel. Burns lovely with a flame. lol

    Suzanne :)

    Talia said...

    LoL, De-nipple...

    Cathryn Brunet said...

    Far out, your blog cracks me up!

    Madmother said...

    Hmm, need to respond to a few of these...

    1. Guess what Boys 1 & 2 received from Nanna? Yep, full archery set. I also had a go at camp and scored a bullseye. Not bragging, no really, I'm not, lol... (oh and all nipples intact too)
    2.Change it to Courvoisier, 1992 in a bathroom at a Parisienne hostel. Blurgh... Oh, and they had a shut out policy from 11am to 3pm so very ill MM had to move.
    3.4. 5.6. All clear
    7. Top of a mountain, no-one in sight. Hot, heavy nearly completely naked, tourist plane flies over, then circles, then lower and lower till we could see the flashbulbs going off on the cameras...
    8. 9. Yes, yes!
    10. 100% yes - I trust my intuition completely.

    Love it!

    Alex said...

    Never ever ever home wax...still having flashbacks from about 15 years ago... *shudders*

    Love the list!

    Love finding more Oz blogs!

    Wee Rhona said...

    Fantastic Caitilin - I think you've really got the concept of anti-resolutions!

    Muse of Flights of Fancy said...

    love it :)

    Welfarewise said...

    that's a great list, all the best for 2010!

    Welfarewise said...

    that's a great list, all the best for 2010!

    Alex said...

    Never ever ever home wax...still having flashbacks from about 15 years ago... *shudders*

    Love the list!

    Love finding more Oz blogs!

    Being Me said...

    OMG I thought Suzanne wrote "I had a case OF Sambuca" and I was going to say...... you're still breathing?? That stuff is like rocket fuel!

    Your list is hee-hee-larious.