Me on holiday + boots + back to work

I don't take holidays much (as in lying on beaches), but I do travel (as in backpacking in China). Or I used to. Before Kids, until I swapped freedom for no sleep and borderline mental illness. Yay parenting.

So, on Thursday I'm getting back to my adventuresome roots, and hitting the road - heading south to Tumut, then off to the West Wyalong to spend two days at a Campdraft, then back to Canberra to catch up with wonderful friends and home to Sydney on Monday afternoon.

I'm hoping to blog by posting from my phone. BUT, am going waaaay off the beaten track, where phone and computer dongle are not relevant, so shall do my best.  Stay tuned.

So boots.  Just a pair of $80 Baxters. Nothing spesh.

Well, actually, a bit spesh for me. You see, like the travel, my lifelong love affair with horses had to go on hold when I had children. Small kids and horses mix about as well as small kids and finding your way around Spain on public transport. (Yes, I know brave souls who've made both work, and done it with style - but I wasn't that confident).

So the boots, which can be used for riding, like the travel to new places, are skerricks of my old life which, now the kids are getting older, are suddenly becoming do-able again. I feel like I'm getting back a little bit of me, a bit I didn't realised I'd missed so much.

Its been a turbulent few weeks here at Chez Nicholas. Visitors and end of term insanity added to the massive strain hubs and I were under due to insecurity about his job.

When I left work in March last year, I swore I would not go back. I had tried to do it all, and be it all, and hit the wall with such force that I'm still recovering. Actually, my story will be in a book, coming out at the end of October called Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me. But more on that then!

With hub's work issues, it became clear that if we were going to keep this little boat afloat I'd have to get myself back into paid employment. So, I grabbed the paper, open the page and my eye fell on a teeny weeny ad, for a PA, local, part time. Actually perfect.

"Ah Cr*p," I said (well actually I said F*ck, loudly).

I knew I could not ignore the ad. I did not want to return to work. I was terrified I'd end up like before. I love my life at home. I love the peace and rhythm of my life. I love spending my days in the garden or writing or both.

But I'm also a realist. Floating about, homemaking, is not much use when there is no home to make.
So I applied for the job.

My application was received with delight and enthusiasm, to and fro of emails, phone calls and good chats. Well, I've got 18 years experience as a PA, and as the Other Party said, 'your cv just goes on and on.' Well, yes. Rather like this blog post.

My heart got heavier and heavier. Things were not looking good for hubs. Visitors meant we had no time to talk, the bickering suddenly escalated to rowing, and fights were blossoming from nowhere. I was in agony over the job, every part of me was howling that I couldn't bear to re-enter the workforce, whilst the rest of me was howling equally noisily that I didn't have much choice.

Things wound tighter and tighter until, on Thursday, hubs was called in to a meeting at 4.30pm.
We watched the clock all day, and as it hit 4.30, the phone here rang.

I did not want to go back to work.

At 4.38pm I was offered a job. But not the job I'd been expecting. Not a PA role, but a role tailor made for me, using my particular skills in a way that frankly, I'd do for free (its to do with databases, and databases make me faint with excitement). Its casual, flexible and local. Yup its adding another dimension to life and some things here will have to give, like the garden and the breadmaking. But just for now. Its okay. Its good. Its bloody brilliant. Its a lifeline chucked into my abyss of despair (oh WHAT, I write romance ffs, also am weary).

I still cannot believe that this is how it happened.

And hubs? At 4.38pm he was getting good news too. Great awesome news that makes me all teary with pride. Nothing in writing as yet, so can't go into details (and frankly, they're a bit meh for anyone but us). But things are looking good. We're daring to hope the future is secure, that Things are going to be okay.

Now. Sense of Humour, where did you go?

☺

Cottees Post and Comp - WTF?

Slight technical issue with the Cottees post.  Will be going back up, and we'll redo the comp then - its not just me, its all blogs involved.

Here is a lolcat to entertain you in the interim.

First Day of the School holidays

 Seeds arrived from Diggers this morning.

Have spent quality bonding time with children planting them.

God knows what is going to come up where.  Am mostly hoping that I can transplant things once I figure out what they are.  Who knows. It'll probably be more successful than that barren desert my seed raising beds.

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 10

What's happening in the garden

Planting

• Moon and Stars watermelon seedlings (above), rockmelon seedlings, got grapes and apricot into the ground, tomato seedlings, basil, cos lettuce, other lettuces

Sexxy Knitting

I apologise, we have not had a good sexxy knitting catalogue photo for ages, so here are three...

I wonder what he is shouting?
Help, my trousers just cut off my testicle?
Come back, serial killers don't wear naff jumpers?
My jumper matches the car upholstery?

Does this neckerchief  make my hair look boofy?
Cannot. Get. Enough. Oxygen.
Help, my sideburns just invaded my ears? Pardon?
What do you mean polyester is flammable?

I can tell what he's thinking here... "International spies need to dress to fit in with the locals, they'll never discover my secret identity as a Russian double agent if I dress like this."

Photos courtesy of mum's vast machine-knitting pattern collection. :)

Garden Photos

Please excuse me whilst I play with the new camera :)

These are avocado flowers...

Avocado flowers start off as girl flowers, then after a couple of days turn into boy flowers. In warm climates all the flowers open together, and so they're all girls and then boy flowers at the same time, unsurprisingly, not much fertilising happens.

As usual I wasn't sure if we were going to get them all opening at once, or gradually - as we hover uncertainly between a sub-tropical and a temperate climate here.  But here we have the proof, they're opening gradually. So I'll get a mix of girls and boys and before we know it, baby avocados will be on their way.

Spike lavender, how amazing is that colour?

Wonderful cheery chrysanthemums...

And, check these beauties out!  Our two cherry blossoms - the cherry tree is just 60cm tall, and this is going to be our crop this year - and I was rather chuffed just to get these, truth be told.

:)

Yes I have been photographing my own socks - updated

Am presently whelmed by inlaws (not sure if over, or under, but certainly one of them)

I think my socks really sum up how I'm coping.

Not a bad photo though, and that's because finally, finally, after months of blurry mobile photos we have a new camera.  It was hub's 40th pressie from his mum, and I have let him play with it exclusively for a whole 24hrs.  Yes. Am generosity itself.

sigh.

Updated to add...

Hubs just got home from work...

This is why I should never interact with others...

Me: How's your day?
Friend: Not so good actually.
Me: On no, what's gone tits-up?
Friend: My girlfriend has to have a breast biopsy.
small silence
Me: Um, awful. Hope it comes back clear. [very quietly] sorry about the tits-up thing

SIGH.

End of conversation with girlfriend, had possibly consumed a few wines...
Me: So I'll call or email or something before I arrive
Wend: Great, looking forward to it
Me: Okay, love you, bye.
startled silence during which I try to decide if I should own the accidental  love you, explain that I'm drunk and its my usual sign-off for Hubs, or just hang up
Wend: Ur, bye.
Phone goes dead.

SIGH.

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 9

What's happening in the garden

• Planting - zucchini and squash seedlings, tomato and basil seedlings, and two red currant plants
• Harvesting - spuds, broccoli, lettuce, celery, lemon
• Observing, asparagus making an appearance
• rhubarb starting to come up (the white blurry blob is a statue-thing, new camera days away, hurray :))

In-Laws and Botulism - just another day at Chez Nicholas

I was only vacuuming around it, honest, and it just... broke.

Its been one of those days, the car electrics went all wonky and it was sure the handbrake was on, when it was off, I chose the leaking milk out of all the milks in the fridge at woolies and didn't realise until I was standing at the checkout, and the coffee table inexplicably split in half.

sigh.

Hubs thinks it's due to suppressed anxiety manifesting itself in a physical sense, but, as we all know, I'm totally crap at suppressing anything (in particular burps, but that's another blog post).  I think it's all just My Life and The Drama that surrounds it.

Am presently coping with the first wave of in-laws, so far so good, though have been googling symptoms of botulism, Just In Case.  Long story, and I'm sure I haven't given them botulism with my nectarine crumble, but one can never be too careful.  If The Worst happens, then you never read this, okay?

In other news, am almighty chuffed that a previous blog rant has been featured on kidspots.com.au's Myspot page.  Link is here.  Just looking at that by-line saying Caitlyn Nicholas makes me go all grin-ny. Have been sending off boastful WOO HOO emails to family and friends all day, most of whom are so under-whelmed that they don't even qualify for the -whelmed bit.  Okay so FINE, Mumndad are swanning about on holiday with my Sister (did I get invited? NO - Such Appalling Favouritism) and don't have time in between Devonshire Teas and Pints of Guinness for lengthy congratulatory emails.  But I still think a bouquet of flowers and a teary telegram is not too much to expect.

sniff.

Homebrewed Cider

The shortest route to the shed from the front garden is through the house.  SOMEONE decided that carrying the straw bales through instead of around would be quicker.

Not for She Who Wields The Vacuum Cleaner. sigh.

Crabapple Trees

I've wanted a Crabapple for a long, long time.

So it was with almost hysterical excitement, that, whilst hubs was watching the kids on the bouncy castle at Swanes, I sneaked a Crabapple tree in our trolley.

Ta Daaaa...

My new pride and joy.  Impressive huh?

Thank Goodness They're Okay...

M'brother-in-law and his partner have been driving around Australia for the last couple of months.  Plans were that they'd arrive in Sydney in a few weeks time.  However these plans got derailed when they ended up like this...

And the other guys ended up like this...

The full story, told characteristically matter of factly, is here.  Check out the spot reference in the post to see how ridiculously remote they were.  The more recent posts also tell of their journey back to Darwin on a road train.

Here at Chez Nicholas we are just SO GLAD noone was hurt, and can't wait for Dr C and Ann to arrive here in a couple of days so we can hug them to bits, and feed them, and have free babysitters.

Argh, life just knocks you sideways sometimes.

Because it'd be too much to ask to get through the week with dignity intact

So there's this petrol station.  I tend to avoid it because when I go there Things go horribly wrong.  Last time I went the creddy card was refused and we had no money in the bank account.

Shudder.

Well, yesterday I had the choice; fill up at That petrol station, or run out of fuel on the Pacific Highway in peak hour.  What could go wrong, I reasoned.

What. Could. Go. Wrong?

• First, I (for reasons best known to myself) managed to park on the Wrong side of the bowser 
• With keys and wallet in hand, remove petrol cap and haul nozzle over to far side of car
• Curse petrol bowser and its Very Little Hose
• Heave on hose, just get end of nozzle into tank
• Commence filling, cover self in petrol backwash due to nozzle not actually being in tank
• Swear
• Heave on hose
• Drop petrol cap, which skitters away, thrilled with freedom
• Swear
• Let go of hose
• Accidentally press panic button on car keys
• Car alarm goes off
• Wonder who is the idiot with the car alarm going off?
• Have stunning moment of realisation
• Swear
• Forget how to turn off car alarm
• Swear more
• Notice petrol cap rolling leisurely down hill, aiming for gutter, busy road, steeper hill, heavy traffic etc
• Too appalled to swear at all
• Sprint after petrol cap (alarm still going but starting to sound a bit weary).
• Nearly get run over by police car as dive into gutter to get cap
• Sprint back to car, remembering how to turn off alarm - alarm turned self off by this stage, so this reactivates it
• Turn off alarm
• Place petrol cap, wallet and keys in safe pile behind back wheel, realise petrol hose is short because the nozzle will angle itself into the tank
• Fill up car, amazingly cheaply
• Arrive to pay
• "Having a good day?" asks grinning smarty-pants cashier
• Narrow eyes dangerously at cashier - pay smoothly
• Back in car, realise only filled tank up half (reason for cheapness)
• Reverse out of space
• Misjudge, have brush with bollard protecting LPG gas tanks
• Limp 100m to carpark, inspect damage - small scuff on bumper
• Arrive for coffee with friends, reeking of petrol and minus any shred of aplomb I may have woken up with.

Sigh.

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 8

What's happening in the garden

• Planting - Apricot tree (half Moorepark and half Trevatt), Crabapple tree (Malus Gorgeous) , Grapes (red emperor, emerald seedless) and final spuds - fruit trees and grapes Father's Day pressy for Hubs
• Us getting the apricot and crabapple home - neither children nor apricot were happy at above 60kmph

• Harvesting - spuds, broccoli, carrot, lettuce
• lettuces and cherry tomato in tub at back door 

Man Dances with Earthmover

On now at the Sydney Opera House...

Sunflower Challenge and Climate Watcher

Landcare Australia have kicked off a program called Climate Watch and are...

"... asking all Australians to become citizen scientists as part of Landcare Week 6 - 13 September, 2010." 

I have signed up, and henceforeth wish to be addressed as Citizen Scientist, and if you could throw in a salute or something, that'd be good too.

Despite the ridiculous names, the program is about watching a variety of species of birds, insects, lizards and frogs in your back garden, and logging your sightings into a database.

I am so there, and if you want to be there too, the link is http://www.climatewatch.org.au/.

So far I've logged the White Cabbage Butterfly, which was helping itself to my Broccoli yesterday.





And the Crested Pigeon, three of which are presently acting out a love triangle under the swings.

Landcare are also doing a Junior Sunflower Challenge - to see who can grow the tallest, biggest Sunflowers. http://juniorlandcarechallenge.com/Sunflower/Home.htm.

We've gone a bit Sunflower mad at Chez Nicholas.  The kids helped order several packets of Sunflowers from Diggers the other week and are hotly anticipating their arrival.  We'll be growing some Little Diggers Giant F1 (below), and some Teddy Bear Sunflowers (above).

So, naturally, the thought of a Sunflower challenge was irresistible.   We've signed up for the Sunflower challenge and are excitedly waiting for our challenge seeds to arrive from Landcare.

I have No Idea where I'm going to plant them all.

:)

Dinner from the Garden

Spuds, swede, broccoli and snow peas - all home grown and all eaten for dinner last night along with some awesome slow cooked lamb.  There are some peas in there too, but I ate them out of the pods before they got anywhere near the steamer.

We don't have enough to eat home grown every night, but at the moment every meal has something from the garden in it.

Hubs and I have been  looking forward to this all winter.  The vege garden is a lot of work, especially when we're both so busy, and this year its felt like we've done nothing but plant things that we have to wait a year or more to produce anything. We keep telling ourselves we're just getting established, but it can be really frustrating.

Now, however, the hard work is starting to pay off, just a teensy bit.  The kids are completely excited about it all - well, not excited enough to actually eat the lettuce they carefully picked - and a family trip around the garden is now mandatory after school, just to see what's changed since yesterday.

My plan for urban bliss feels like its crept one step closer.

:)

Anxiety - its stalking me like a Panther in the Desert

Hmm, let's not get into the likelihood of Panthers in deserts.

I was never a particularly anxious person, until I had children.  Then, within days of finding out I was pregnant, a myriad of worry opened itself up to me, and like everyone else I was dragged screaming over the abyss.

The anxiety has waxed and waned over time; the cot death worry was replaced by the choking worry.  The nappy rash worry was replaced by the wiping, flushing, washing worry. The separation anxiety was replaced by the 'hope she eats her lunch or she'll be feral' worry.

But lately I find myself contending with a new worry. A new ominous worry.

The worry that goes by the name NITS.

Now we've had nits.  Couple of months ago found the little critters on Miss 4.  NITS, I thought, this'll be worth a blog post. No worries.  Bit of shampoo and there we go.

But then I discovered the Nit landscape had changed.  No more soaking your child in DDT and she'll be right (hell, I survived), no more shaving their head and dousing them in petrol (okay, that didn't happen when I was a kid - that I know of - but it was once a cure).

No, there are nit combs and choices between chemical and natural, and essential oils and shower caps and soaking-in and more combing and the cetaphil cure.  Frankly its a choice of how you want your nit; baked, suffocated or chemically dehydrated.

Lovely.

Of course, if there is a natural way to deal with these things, then that's what I want to do - and holy mother of god the screaming.  Miss 4 (she of sensitive scalp) went ballistic.  I didn't know what to do but keep going, as she had to be nit free to go to school.  It was one of those parenting moments that will haunt me forever.

Despite the angst, the natural soak-em-in-oil and comb-em-out method worked.  And except for my propensity to start rocking in corners whenever one of the kids scratched her head, we've gone along fine since then.

Until yesterday.  Nits have made a reappearance at school.

This news, on top of insecurity about hubs job and a terrifying near miss on the motorway that afternoon, sent me plunging straight over the edge of the anxiety abyss.  Yes.  Even after two glasses of wine I was still replaying the moment when a ute forced me to cut-off a speeding B-Double, or have him hit my rear end, and was unable to face dragging a fine-toothed nit comb through my screaming child's hair.

But, the buck stops with me, and the situation had to be dealt with.

So, I poured more wine, braced myself with a large bag of marshmallows, a nit comb, and some Cetaphil lotion, and we commenced.

And.

It was fine.

There were no nits.  No lice, no eggs - though I did the treatment anyway, they're slippery little suckers.  The Cetaphil lotion went on a lot easier than the oil based treatment had, it made the hair easier to comb, and every time there was discomfort I shovelled another handful of marshmallows into her.

So Thank You (God, Universe, Whomever), I needed that kind of break - was about to run out of wine FFS, and  the only choice after that was the warm bottle of Moet we've been saving for 'special.'

In other news to gladden the heart - I've blogged before about Barbie dolls, and the fact that toy makers seem to think its cute to see little girls playing with dolls who look like street-walkers.  But below is Miss 4 dressed up in her version of what Barbie looks like.

I have no idea about the relevance of the reindeer puppet either.

:)

Dad's Day in PJs

It's been a going-to-the-supermarket-without-a-bra-on kind of day at our house.  Now there is an image that's going to haunt the few family and friends who still read this blog.


It began early, with a world famous Caitlyn Nicholas Father's Day Chocolate Breakfast.

Which would not be complete without a photograph of the World Famous Caitlyn Nicholas in her dressing gown.

I had to make that hot chocolate and heat up those croissants on the BBQ - as, living in a 3rd world suburb, we had no power due to a tree falling over.  Felt all Survival Mom actually, I mean, its the middle of a 3hr blackout, but HELL, I still had warm mini croissants.


Day continued in much the same way, only with electricity. 


Father's Day, at our house, is about great food and making sure that hubs knows we all appreciate him and how hard he works.  I showed my endless gratitude by napping for two hours (what? there was a sunbeam across the bed...) so that he could spend the afternoon pushing his stir-crazy wind-maddened children on the swings in a Force 6 gale.  Bonding is a beautiful thing to see, is it not?


Its been a good day :)

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 7

What's happening in the garden

• Planting - carrots, leeks, white onions, red onions, zucchini, parsley, lettuce
• Harvesting - first harvest of winter spuds (baked them, they were perfect :))

Oh Dear The Drum Kit Broke & Carrots

Tragedy today in the Nicholas household (WOO HOO - sorry cannot help self).  Alas, it seems someone left the electronic drum kit outside and then it rained (HURRAY). And now it no longer works (YEEEEE HAR).

Please let's all have a moments silence for the dearly departed drum kit.  Let's just listen to the silence. Aaaah, silence.

Anyway. Carrots. 

Spring Hates Me - in 11 concise reasons

Look, I was going to do a huggy, gardeny post about spring with a bit of springy poetry and lots of photos of our three almond blossoms, but then I trod in still-warm dog barf.

So Spring.

Yay.

Let me see, we've got...

• Allergies - itching eyes, runny nose, and sneezing so often that instead of bless-you my family yells SHUT-UP
• Swimming pools - need to fix electrics, move fence, service filter, add acid, chlorine, buffer and GOD KNOWS what else the man at the pool shop can dream up, or end up with the Loch Ness Monster's second cousin living in there
• Swimming - cannot wait for a repeat of Miss 4s 'I've done a poo' incident from last year (had to get a new pool scoop after we fixed that problem).
• Bugs - ah yes, the festering maddening welts that sand-flies like to give me, can't wait for them, the incessant whine of mosquitos the minute you've turned the light out, and MOTHS. Argh Moths.
• Flies - did they breed in the chook poo, or the dog poo under the swings? My, I'm glad they're now inside sitting on the bread.
• Mildew - if its not murdering the peas, then its wilting the zucchini OR growing up the walls and on the windows of the entire house and giving my children emphysema (any medical advice given on this blog should not be counted on as fact).
• Neighbours - in their gardens, using their horrific leaf blowers, leaving their windows open so I Have To Hear Them. 
• Burning Off - weeks of smoke haze, marvellous - because I hate fresh air and love watery eyes and my washing smelling of smoke (oh OKAY it might save my life or my house, but still...)
• Clothing - do I wear wintery stuff and run the risk of niffy-pits due to all that sweltering? or do I wear summer stuff and run the risk of looking like a plucked chicken, and having to keep my arms crossed due to... um... high beams situation distracting friend's husbands (AWKWARD).
• In-laws - spring is Visiting Season (GodHelpMe), and then to finish it all off...
• Melbourne Cup - why do I always think I'm going to win? I have never won. The Melbourne Cup serves no purpose except to ROB me of my $3 in the Mother's Group Sweepstakes.

Sigh.

Please note: I shall be entering into the spirit of joy and rebirth and revelling in the heady waft of (next-door's invasive) Jasmine just as soon as I've steam-mopped away all evidence of the dog's afternoon snack of rancid cheese he dug out of the worm farm.

Vote for ME!!

I'm in the running to win $500 :) in an http://www.kidspot.com.au competition. I'd love your vote for my blog post; The Day My Midriff Escaped.

http://apps.facebook.com/polldaddy-polls/?view=poll&id=3691392

Thanks everyone.

Back To Basics Challenge - Week 6

What's happening in the garden

• Harvesting
•  Lettuce, beetroot leaves, last of turnips, first swede

• Observing
• Blueberry flowers

• Broccoli

• Zuchinni seedling nearly read to plant out

• Strawberry flowers

• Egg total : 16

What I've been doing

She's ALIVE (barely)

Well I'm still alive.  More or less.  I did actually die at some point on Tuesday, but then had to get over it on Wednesday because otherwise nobody would've fed anyone or taken the kids to school.

Hubs, being real man, was so sick on Thursday he had to take a day off work.  He spent this day off work lying on the couch and snoring intermittently - mostly during Oprah, which incidentally was about being regressed into past lives to cure present life neurosis.

Speaking of past lives, I have not been regressed into mine, or even hypnotised, but I do have it on good authority that I was Joan of Arc in a past life.  ('Unusual' friends, I love you all).  Having watched Oprah I have realised that this explains much about my present life, for example, my total aversion to being tied to a stake and set on fire, or my reluctance to go rushing into Places Of Worship waving my sword and shouting that I am a conduit for the Voice of God.

Still, I am rather thrilled about potentially being Joan of Arc at some point - I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Joanie. I'd like to meet her, give her a high five, tell her 'you go girl' and then do some sort of fist-pump action (and then run away quickly as she chases me on her charger and tries to skewer me with the aforementioned broadsword for being possessed by The Devil).

Also the fact I was once a true Saint is fitting, I feel.

I also have it on good authority (yes the same one) that one of my spiritual guides (or muses if you like) is Jane Austen.  Poor Jane Austen.  Can you imagine the woman having to follow me around all day and provide me with inspiration.  She'd be so Mortified she wouldn't be able to get a word out, and would be petitioning the Entity Who Allocates spiritual guides for a transfer just as soon as she could get the paperwork completed.  I do not think Jane Austen would approve of my language, driving skills, conversational topics with complete strangers, conversational topics with friends, and uncharitable mutterings about pretty much everything.  Can you imagine what she'd think about Mr Rabbit's budgie smugglers??

Anyhoo, I have digressed.  This post was going to be all about me enthusing over my asparagus crowns.

SEE!!  Asparagus crowns. I've wanted to grow Asparagus for forever and yesterday, the organic seedling lady at Hornsby markets took foul advantage of my being totally wiped-out on Cold and Flu tablets and sold me some.

Am deeply excited and spent yesterday night cross referencing all my gardening books on Asparagus (which is why I'm blogging now :))

Also am going to make that divine bunch of rhubarb into crumble with homemade custard for everyone tonight AND that cup of tea is at perfect drinking temperature.

Had best go drink it.

:)

I may not make it through the night...

Because things have been going well of late, it was inevitable that I'd get sick.

I am extremely brave and stoic when I'm ill. I battle on and don't complain. I get the job done and keep my suffering and my germs to myself.  My parenting skills are exemplary at times like this, and frankly it was simply an unfortunate oversight that I missed out on Wife And Mother Of The Year again this year.

Here are a few examples of my patience and leadership in the last... well four hours or so;

• Dear God don't let Playschool end
• No we are not listening to the sodding Wiggles again, no I do not have any special treats, if you don't stop yelling I'll throw the Wiggles out the car window and they'll get squashed.
• My hair hurts
• My goodbumps hurts
• Aaaaachoo
• Stop it
• Be quiet
• Can't you see I'm ill?
• Can't you see I'm driving?
• I am not mean.
• My nose won't stop running.
• I'm cranky because I've taken too many cold and flu tablets
• LEAVE THE DOG ALONE 
• Just feed it to the Dog
• DONT FEED THAT TO THE DOG
• Does it feel like nits?
• What itches?
• No you cannot get nits there.
• I don't know why, but you can't.
• No, I don't want to look.
• Yes we can have a Chinese take-away
• No we cannot have prawn chips
• I AM NOT MEAN.
• I've run out of tissues
• Is it just me or is everyone else flushed and shivering
• No I can't get you a hot chocolate or a muffin with golden syrup
• I wish someone would get me a muffin with golden syrup
• NO, I cannot get you a muffin when I get one
• I AM NOT MEAN
• Can't you see I'm ill
• I can feel my tonsils throbbing
• Please, for the love of God, stop bickering
• NO WE ARE NOT HAVING PRAWN CHIPS
• My throat hurts
• My nose hurts
• Aaaachooo.
• You want to perform Dingle Dangle Scarecrow AGAIN??
• Let's see what's on ABC2 instead.
• DONT THROW THAT.
• Give that here.
• RIGHT I'm taking it away.
• That was an excellent rendition of Dingle Dangle Scarecrow
• LOOK, its In the Night Garden.
• Please watch television.
• Go and see if Daddy's home yet
• LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE.

I may or may not make it through the night.

sigh.

Because yes, actually, this really IS how my life unfolds.

People sometimes ask me if everything I write on this blog is true.

Sadly. Yes.

A fiction writer I may be, but I just don't have the capacity to make this crap up.

Take today for example.  Its been an extremely pleasant day. I spent a lot of it having coffee with friends and ambling around Chatswood Chase.  Most days I'm at home doing the housework (do you hear that hysterical laughing, yes? that's my husband), writing and discussing life with the chooks.  But today I had a day-off, and got out amongst it.

Blogging wise there wasn't much to report; no dramas, no loss of dignity (yes, actually, I do have some left), no cause for Capital Letters.

Until (and OH, you knew that was coming) it was time to pick up the kids.

You see, I'd just parked in a quiet cul-de-sac deep in the heart of North Shore suburbia, and ALL OF A SUDDEN I nearly ran over a goat.

Well okay, maybe 'running over' is a mild exaggeration.

But there I was, sitting in the car and a man wanders past with the biggest, most snowy white goat I've ever seen.   He didn't have it on a lead or anything, and if it decided to dawdle or wander off in the wrong direction, he'd grab one of its horns and gently urge it along.

WTF??

Goats.  I ask you.

In other exciting news, check out the salad we had for dinner.

Grew it all myself.

Just had to have a boast.

:)

The Chook News - Edition III

Drama in Hen House


In news just in, there has been a marked increase in swarking, clucking and Ill Humour coming from the direction of Chook Run.  Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "I've been expecting something like this."


Further investigation has revealed a difficult situation.

An Australorp, referred to as either Pecky or That Wretched Hen; very warm, very cross and refusing under any circumstances to leave her nest.  


Broodyness has entered The Coop.


It is reported that in a moment of uncontrollable temper Pecky pecked the hand that feeds her.  Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "This is my fault for letting the kids call her Pecky."


The situation causing much consternation amongst the other members of The Coop.  


Egg Laid On Head


Late yesterday afternoon Karen Francis Chicken (KFC to friends and family) whilst possessed by a desperate urge to lay an egg, was dismayed to find her favourite nest Occupied.  Much leg crossing, hopping from one foot to another and turning in circles ensued.


Squarking, pecking and bickering did nothing to resolve the situation. Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Oh like I can get chickens to resolve conflict, look how my children behave."


Matters were resolved without further intervention when KFC made herself comfortable on the nest with its vile tempered occupant and laid her egg, oblivious to the deep distress she was causing.


Sunlight a Cure


Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas said, "Dad, I don't care that your mad Grandmother used to sit broody chickens on a bowl of ice and put an upturned bucket on top of them, until they got over it. I am not doing that to my chicken."


Repeated referral to The Chook Book and other poultry references has revealed that broodyness is gently cured by sunlight and fresh air. An investigation into Landlord and local F-list celebrity, Caitlyn Nicholas's fridge has revealed an egg-glut of 38 eggs.  This dire situation goes some way to explaining her deep ambivalence about the fact that Pecky is not laying at the moment, and her final statement about the situation; "I think we'll let nature take its course."


Check back for minute-by-minute updates on developments as they happen.

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 4 & 5

Each week I take part in Belinda's Back to Basic's challenge.


What's happening in the garden

• Harvesting
• Turnips, lettuce, beetroot leaves

• Observing
• Cherry tomatoes ripening

• Snow peas flowering

• Watermelon, zuchinni, squash, tomato, leek seedlings making an appearance

• Egg total : 22 this week, 16 last week

The Day My Midriff Escaped - a tale of woe

So its 3pm and I'm flitting about the car line picking up the screamies, exchanging banter with the other mums and inhaling a lot of carbon monoxide.    Miss 4 greets me in her usual way...
"Have you got a special treat??"
I respond in my usual way...
"No."
And let the screaming commence...
Eventually, after promising apple juice when we get home, we get to the car and I bundle my two tired and tearful termagants inside.
It's at that point I realise my midriff is cold. Colder than it should be. Much colder than if it was tucked into my jeans and hiding discreetly under my top.
Oh yes. My midriff has escaped.

Let me describe the horror. No. I want too. I want the internet to forever remember how attractive my midriff really is, post kids.

The scarf serving as a belt is where it should be, around the top of my hips.  But my far-too-big jeans  had sagged, and then sagged again, forming attractive flappy handfuls of fabric, held up only by the belt loops.  Mmm, pretty.

But it gets worse.

You see at the front, the sagging had caused the jeans to unzip themselves, exposing my pink dog-chewed underpants, AND (if that wasn't enough) the bow of the scarf was fetchingly supporting my post-kids jelly belly as it peered out from under my top.

I just keep telling myself that noone notice.  Because who goes around staring at other people's midriff in car line? I mean Who Does That??

Given that little embarrassment, that I had Miss 4's Kindi interview and that my husband was about to stage an intervention, I decided it was time for shopping.

Shopping is not something I view as a past-time.

The first disaster was that this year's colours are nude, pinky nude, beige and pinky beige.  All colours that make me look like a warm corpse.  I was persuaded into a puffed sleeves pinky nude thing by a desperately eager sales assistant. She actually flinched when I came out of the change room.  Yes. That bad.

So this year I shall be wearing black and longing for when the reds, dark purples and blues come back in again.  Black is fine. I picked up some nice tops and a couple of pairs of jeans, and even a jacket IN SIZE 10.

The next disaster occurred when I glanced at my watch and realised I needed to be at the Kindi interview asap.  So, still dressed in my saggy jeans, I hurtled to school and commenced a quick change in the front seat of the car, ripping off labels as I went.  Two minutes to go and I was sorted.  Looking and feeling good. I even had a real belt.

I managed to get all the lables - and didn't wander about with 12s 12s 12s 12s plastered down the back of my leg (the s stands for short-arse).  But it was as I got out of the car that the random thought 'security camera' entered my head.  Ah yes. Hello there disaster number three.  Carefully, and without turning my head (so it wouldn't see me looking) I scanned the car park and spotted it.  Just where I had a nasty feeling it would be, staring directly into the windscreen of my car with its one dead-eye.

Some things in this life are better not to know.   I have decided that there was no way I could have been filmed pulling off my top and squeezing into jeans that I have every intention of shrinking into.  No way at all. I have also decided that no one actually watches security footage and they'll have recorded over it by next week anyway.

Ah denial. Its warm in here.

sigh.

Jackie French - Teaching Kids To Read

On Tuesday I had the privilege of attending a talk given by Jackie French. She came to the kid's school to speak about teaching children to read.  Her talk, for me, was life-changing. Jackie has been a huge influence for a long time, her books on homemaking and sustainable living have put me on the path I am now treading.  But, it was what she had to say about learning to read, children who have difficulty learning to read and her own journey with dyslexia that meant so much to me.

You see I'm dyslexic.  I never had trouble reading, though I have problems with the order of the letters of the alphabet, and I had a lot of trouble writing.  For the first two years of school I wrote backwards, and my mother still has childish paintings with YROT scrawled across the bottom.  I also had a lot of trouble with mathematics and to this day cannot fathom times tables.  

To hear Jackie talking about the issues she'd had with the manifestations of her dyslexia was, for the first time in my life, to hear someone talking seriously about dyslexia.  I had always been told my dyslexia was something of an idiosyncrasy, and that if I tried hard enough I could overcome it.  Which has been true, to a degree.  But Jackie's approach was to work with the areas that cause the problems, instead of battling away at them until they're overcome.  It was a lightbulb moment for me, and the concept is one that I'm still digesting. 

So, here are my notes from Jackie's talk.

RWA 2010 - A-Day - Rest of Notes Up

I've put up the rest of my notes from the RWAus Conference Authors day at www.toryhayward.com/blog

• Wendy Harmer 
• Felicity Packard  
• Publishing Perspectives Panel

Putting Wheels Back On

What with conferences, a plethora of kids parties and school-y stuff thus far August has lurched along with much of my hard won organisation flushing itself down the toilet.  What has surprised/dismayed/stunned (pick one or all) me the most is how fast the wheels fell off.

I  was out-of-the-house busy from Wednesday to Sunday, missed making meal plans and shopping on Thursday. This led to three nights of take-away, everyone buying their lunches, scrounging to feed people over the weekend, and a heavy reliance on the egg pile in the fridge - which was great, but when you've not had time to make bread... sigh.

In my defence I tried to do the shopping on Sunday. Miss 6 had a party down in Mosman and I optimistically took myself to Mosman IGA.  Ah ha. Ha, ha, ha.  The. Prices.

I know they change the prices depending on the supermarket location but this was ridiculous.  In the end I bought the ingredients for dinner (spag bol), some orange juice (Miss 4 has mouth ulcers, poor little mite, so am upping vit C) and some teabages (Nerada, not even the fancy pants Twinings ones - that were priced at $15.99, and are $9.99 in our Coles) and the whole lot set me back $54.

So, due to all the take-away and unplanned spending the budget has blown out.  Thank goodness for Hubs who diligently kept the washing ticking over - though now there's a gigantic a clean clothes pile.  No surface of the house is clear, and the kitchen is a disgrace.

Been to Coles this morning, and right now I am multi-tasking writing this and cleaning and redesigning websites, plus I've got an extra kid-free hour up my sleeve today. So am glueing the wheels back on.  Slowly. And with much effort.  Much as I enjoy being around people, I always find it really energy sapping, and today I'm tired and want to snug in bed, reading all the Mills&Boons I picked up at the conference.  Yawn. Not be to though.

One thing the few days of chaos has reminded me of, is how I admire Mothers Who Work - full time, part time, anytime, anywhere.  I mean, yes, I work - writing and homemaking - but its flexible, and I have a high degree of freedom.  I do not have the pressure of working away from home, and ladies who do... I salute you.

:)

Me: What are you drawing?
Miss 4: Its abstract art Mummy. *Rolls eyes.*

Am twittering wheels-back-on-day. @caitlynnicholas

Announcing Tory Hayward

What is going on with the blog and the website??  They appear to be All Over The Place - which actually is understatement of the week.

WELL.

I am creating a new online identity and pen name.  I won't go into huge details (massively boring) but...

I had a wet t-shirt and he had wee on his trousers

You can tell that I took the family out in public AGAIN.

So imagine, if you will, that you have spent the morning cleaning bathrooms, wrangling tired and crabby children and pantsing your husband at every opportunity.  Then, you glance at the clock and realise you have to be at the RWAus2010 conference in an hour,  AND that a crucial part of your planned outfit is presently a crumpled heap on the floor and suffering badly from the last time you wore it and forgot to deodorise your right armpit.

That would've been me at around 11am this morning.  Needless to say, aforementioned top was immediately washed. Not on a short wash. No. On a long wash. That I couldn't stop.  Because there wasn't quite enough stress in my life.

Next, fast forward to me, getting in the car with a top just pulled from the washing machine, on a bright cool day with a brisk breeze.  Wretchedly, miserably Cold.

Of course we were running just a smidge late by this point, and so when, Miss 4 announced that she needed a wee when we were surrounded by six lanes of stationary traffic, there was a minor loss of patience on my part (I am an outstanding parent, we all know this).

Having made it to a quiet side street, hubs lost the coin toss and ended up being 'the assistant.'  We were on a steep hill and within moment his left shoe found itself placed, somewhat unfortunately, downstream.

There was a great deal of surprisingly athletic hopping on his part, a deeply disconcerted Miss 4, who nevertheless continued to perform like a professional, and unkind snickering from me. The entire situation came to a climax with a howl of distress from hubs as the tide curled up over his shoe, soaked itself into his jeans, his sock and dribbled inside his shoe.

When we arrived at the conference my top was still damp and clingy and, well, hubs squelched slightly as he walked. An irresistible pair.

sigh.

RWA 2010 - A-Day Dr John Barletta

Dr John Barletta is a clinical psychologist who came to talk to us about Engagement and Flow in your writing life.  These are my notes from his (rather hurried) talk, and I think they give a few starting points where writers can examine their own motivation (or lack of) to write.

RWA 2010 - A-Day Jennifer Schober

On Thursday I spent the day at the Coogee Bay Crowne Plaza, attending the inaugural Romance Writers of Australia Published Authors day (or A-day).  It was a wonderful day with an awesome line up of speakers, and I'll put up some posts of my notes over the next couple of days.

New Bio

Have been writing self new bio to go up on sites like Amazon and Goodreads...

I love writing. It’s my happy place.  Other happy places include my garden and my kitchen, both situated in my uninspiring 70s red brick house in suburban Sydney, Australia. I love eating. I also love my dog, my cat, my chickens, my children and my husband. Mostly. And not always in that order.  Some days I spend a great deal of time suppressing the urge to strangle the lot of them. This is because they see it as their God-given purpose to interrupt my favorite activities. Yes, writing, gardening and eating.

Some might describe me as obdurate and cranky.  But I like to see it as being mis-understood.  A rough diamond.  A heart of gold.  I am immensely pleasant on the inside.

To my mother’s eternal startlement I am the author of two novels and a couple of short stories.  I also have another couple of books slowly making their way through the publication process.  My pathway to publication was beyond usual. I went from never-written-a-word to published in nine months, I have books in bookshops all over the US, but have never actually seen them, and I am incapable of following guidelines when it comes to writing anything. Especially biographies.

:)

Back to Basics Challenge - Week 3

What's happening in the garden

• Sowing seed
• Dwarf Beans, Climbing beans, cucumber, basil, sweetcorn

• Planting
• Leek border in front garden
• Harvesting
• Tatsoi, pak choy, lettuce, beetroot leaves

• Observing
• Cherry tomatoes ripening, broad beans getting taller daily, leek seedlings starting to come up

• Egg total : 22

What I've been doing

• Planning for The Future
• Thinking about moving pool fence
• Pool electrics need to be fixed before weather warms
• Trying to get blogging/writing time into a structure to stop feeling overwhelmed and taking time away from kids to fulfil commitments.
• Working for the Future
• Weekly menu plan - detailed weekly lunch/dinner plan, used for making a shopping list - working well 
• A lot of writing stuff
• New composting system starting to work well - and got worm farm up and running properly
• Fun Stuff
• Building Community
• Attended kid's school ball - lots of new friends
• Attending Jackie French talk at kids school
• Learn a new Skill
• Old skill reused: Dancing the night away, sipping champagne, feeling tired and seedy the next day and curing it with pizza

• Becoming less porky
• Present weight 75.8kgs (top of healthy weight range for my height: 67kgs)

Week Summary

• Third week of school, spent a lot of it finding socks, washing socks and losing socks
• Weekly food shop under $200
• Have got big possum out of roof - now living in possum box :)  Two little brush tails still getting in
• Removed weed matting from sweetcorn bed, dug over and planted first months planting of corn - 16 plants
• Twittered a lot

:)

Best Night Ever

 Before:

After:

Last night hubs and I danced the evening away at the Kid's School's birthday ball.  Have not had such an awesome time since before kids :)  It made the throbbing earlobes, the eyebrow waxing and the manicuring all worth it.

Kids were up at six this morning though, and are presently bouncing around with no thought that their poor poor parents have only had four hours sleep, swigged rather a large number of glasses of champagne, and pulled several crucial muscles on the dancefloor.

I am far too old for this sort of thing.

Beautification not going to plan...

Tell me, would you keep them after you overheard the following conversation....

Miss 6: I don't like the taste of the stuff in my ears

Miss 4: but the stuff up my nose is okay, I always eat it

WOULD YOU???

Barely coping today after disastrous manicure made my stumpy fingers look even stumpier.  This on top of deciding to wear earrings again and ending up with a purple throbbing earlobe AND a particularly vicious eyebrow wax that has made me look like I'm wearing scarlet eyeshadow.  You can tell I'm trying to feel good about myself can't you.

Is it wrong to be drinking whilst the kids watch Playschool??

:)

Mondayish

Cold wet and utterly utterly miserable today.  A 50kmph freezing dry westerly (which caused me to be zapped every time I touch any metal surface) was eventually overtaken by an even colder rainy southerly.  I put the chooks to bed early, well, they were already in there, and I just shut the gate of their pen.  Our two Australorps like to roost on the top of the door to their little coop, and in this wind they are presently spending the evening being blown briskly back and forth, back and forth.  They seem deeply unimpressed by this, but are hanging on for grim life regardless.

Well, at least the poo will be evenly spread over the floor.

Bit of an end of an era in the Nicholas household this weekend.  Miss 6 has moved out of her car seat and into a booster seat. She was having too compress her spine and sort-of wedge her shoulder blades into her rib cage to sit in it. I also realised that once I'd clipped it shut she couldn't really draw air into her lungs properly - which was why she was always so quiet in the car.  Alas now she is a lot noisier when travelling, and prone to criticising her mother's music selection on the iPod and demanding I play the 'shut the damn door song' - I have no idea which song this is.

Speaking of outstandingly slack parenting, I also realised today that Miss 4s feet were physically larger than the school shoes she was wedging them into.  Ah yes.  This morning she looked at me with a pained expression and said 'please may I have some new shoes,' (imagine Oliver Twist asking for more porridge).  Naturally it was the first I'd heard about ill-fitting shoes, and it was just before we were due to leave for school.  So, I advised her to take them off as soon as she got there and we'd get some more asap.  Glancing in the rear vision mirror as I drove out of the carpark, I saw Miss 4 sitting on the footpath removing her shoes and two bemused car-line supervisors trying to figure out what she was doing.  I went just a little bit faster.  Needless to say we've been to visit the wonderful Jill at the shoe shop this afternoon, and Miss 4 is now fast asleep in bed wearing her brand new shoes.

:)