Post number 802: Pesto

YAY this is post number 802!!  Was planning on doing a bit of boasting when I got to post 800, but then forgot about it. sigh.  Story of my life really :)

We've got a bit of basil about the place at the moment, so I decreed this weekend to be pesto making weekend...

I used Stephanie Alexander's recipe in her Kitchen Garden Companion.  We ended up with about 3 cups of basil; picked, un-bugged, de-leafed and washed by hubs.

Being fundamentally lazy I fling it all in the blitzer - none of this mortar and pestle business, no siree...

Then I blitz it...

And then blitz it some more. We like our pesto smooth not chunky - well the kids do, and as they actually eat it, and it is green, I am happy to do it their way. 

Check out that awesome colour :)  That is around 600ml.  I was intending to freeze this lot, but then Ms Alexander said you can just cover the pesto with oil and keep it in the fridge and it will last until you get the next lot of basil in the spring.  So, with some trepidation, that is what I am doing.

Barring unforseen disasters (and oh yes, I'm sure there will be something) we should have enough basil in the next month or so to make another big batch, which I will freeze, just in case this lot starts to ferment on me.

We used the stuff that wouldn't fit in the tub to make homemade chicken pesto pizza.  This is easy to do, and to die for...
1. Make pizza dough, roll out
2. Cover with tomato paste
3. Chop raw chicken breast into small pieces, fling in bowl, stir through as much pesto as you think fit
4. Arrange artfully on pizza
5. Sprinkle with a little bit of cheese (mozzarella)
6. Bung in oven, cook until you are SURE chicken is cooked through - takes a little longer than usual we find
7. Guard your two teeny weeny slivers from voracious children and husband - use any means necessary, you have my permission.

I do have to say that I am now, officially, sick of pesto.

Well for today.

Cake Friday: The paltry remains

Wasn't fast enough with the camera, this was all that was left by the time I found it and the memory card (in different places as usual). 

This week I did a sponge, with a filling of Dad's strawberry jam and icing sugar on top to cover the burnt bits (curse my fan forced oven, curse it to hell).

Home from school

I'm sure they'll pick them up.  Just like I asked.

Dust Bunnies

The dust bunnies are taking over the house and scaring the dog. When the dust in the corners is so thick you can write in it, I suppose its time to get matters under control and stop rabbiting on about Life Being Too Short for domestic servitude. SIGH. Just be thankful I didn't include a photo of the kids bathroom, shudder.

Of course I have leapt into this cleaning thing with unfettered enthusiasm.  So far I've made tea and toast, watered the garden and photographed the Pumpkin Of Hope, which is, as you can see, doing very nicely...

And discovered an eggplant on its way.  The Eggplant of Indescribable Joy.

Okay, okay, I'm going to clean now.

Yawn.

Jam and Japan

Oh Japan - its like having a front row seat to watch Armageddon.  I'm kind-of glad that the TV stations are not doing 24/7 coverage the way they did with Christchurch, as there is only so much relentless tragedy I can process - its starting to take on the unreal feel of a disaster movie; just when you think it can't get any worse, something even more awful happens.  Trouble is, there is no hero who will swing in at the end and make it all right.

I'm wondering what I can do to help - sending cash is not an option for us right now, so I was thinking about maybe knitting something; beanies, a blanket, that could be sent to a person who'd lost everything. 
It seems so little though.

On a lighter note, I have stopped falling over every time I stand up and the room has stopped spinning when I'm lying down. I'm still deaf as a post, but its actually quite peaceful, so I'm not complaining too much.

I have even made some jam with our leftover plums.  This blurry photo (it was in focus when I took it, I swear - but I was feeling a bit lightheaded at the time) is the leftovers that wouldn't fit in a jar and not the sum total of what I made.

:)

Sliding off the planet

So for the last four days I've had a cold.  But not just any cold, OH HELL NO - I mean this is me and my colds must be special, rather than common.  You see, instead of starting with a sore throat and moving on to sneezing, drippy nose etc, this wretched cold has taken up residence in my sinuses and inner ear, completely and utterly nixing my ability to balance, and turning my ability to hear on and off as the mood takes it.

Mmm. Interesting no?  (Don't answer that).  

So up until yesterday I was dogged by the sensation that I was falling over to the left, even when lying down. I kept wanting to lie on the floor and hold on.  Though I did refrain from this (have not vacuumed in an age and the dog is moulting). Instead I tried to beat it into submission by lying on the couch in my underwear, watching daytime talkshows and eating chocolate (lindt, natch).  Sadly there is no photo of this.

It seems to have worked.  Today things are improving, the cold is turning in to a proper cold (well yes, that would make it common, but its in my head so therefore it is still special - just ask hubs).  And though I've got that dizzy, spinny feeling you get when pissed and lying in bed trying not to hurl, I have managed to be up and about, and trying to catch up on all the domestic drudgery I let slide.

Well, let me clarify, I have been in the kitchen, cooking things I could eat as I was preparing them. Things with a lot of sugar and butter in them.  Like lemon curd. A lot of lemon curd.

I now have a scorching case of indigestion - damn cold, affecting my digestive system in such a way.

Anyhoo, I was going to ramble on about the garden, but I think I'll go and lie down and try not to slide off the face of the planet.

Urgh.

Milk It, Baby

Is it just me, or is everyone else out there a bit confused about about what the HELL Coles, Franklins, ALDI and Woolies think they are doing to our milk supply?

For overseas readers; Coles, one of our major supermarkets has dropped the price of milk to $1 a litre, which is, by all accounts unsustainable.  The other supermarkets are following suit.

I have heard quite a few stories as to how the supermarkets are able to do this without destroying the dairy industry, and how (apparently) the money we 'save' on our milk is not coming directly from the pockets of our dairy farmers.

• Coles reckons it gave the diary farmers a 'pay rise' last year to offset the drop in income from the cheap milk (sounds a bit elaborate but okay) - but what then are the other supermarkets doing, having been caught unawares by Coles aggressive grab for customers?  Giving pay rises to their suppliers?  Somehow I doubt it.
• Another theory is that the supermarkets are diluting their milk with water or adding more permeates to it.  
• Firstly, Baristas are reporting that the cheap milk is harder to froth, suggesting that either the milk is diluted or that fat has been removed (put simply fat makes froth). 
• And Secondly WFT are permeates?? "Permeate is a waste product of dairy production created by removing all the fat {from milk} and then concentrating the material that is left, it can make up to 12 per cent of some milk brands in supermarkets.
  NSW farmers say permeate costs less for processors to buy than milk, so the two can be mixed to produce a cheaper product." Article here
• I found this diagram (click to enlarge) about how they process milk...

•  That makes you feel better about our milk supply doesn't it - natural product?? really??
• Finally today they are saying that the supermarkets (both Coles and Woolies own a large number of petrol stations) are increasing the price of petrol to cover the shortfall in income/profit

The Senate Economic Committee has already started an inquiry into how this discounting can be happening, and the ACCC is being called on to get involved.  Which is great, if they actually do anything. 

Apparently eggs are next on the radar - I shudder to think what that price war will involve (increasing grain costs and less profits for the farmer will mean they will cut costs in areas that include quality of life for chickens, and the food that they are fed, which is ultimately the food you eat) - and I have forgiven our chooks for digging up the asparagus AGAIN.  

I've been loving the cheap milk, we go through around 6 litres a week - more if I'm making yoghurt and so on.  But after doing some research I just don't trust that the cheap milk is not a lesser quality product that is being produced at the expense of our dairy industry and the expense of the consumer at the petrol pump.  So I've decided that I'm going to start buying branded milk, organic if I can get it.  Yes.  Triple the price, maybe more, and we are utterly skint at the moment.  But I think its the right thing to do.  In fact, I don't think I have a choice.

:)

Slipping Away

Granddad has taken a turn for the worse.  At 94 he's done damn well. Incredibly well.  He's still completely compos mentis, lives in a retirement village in his own little flat, does the crossword, fiddles about on the stock exchange (he has a passion for buying and selling stock in mining companies or 'penny dreadfuls' as he calls them) and generally potters along.  But his body is giving up on him.  Yesterday he had a health crisis, and we are hoping and praying (or as close as my family ever comes to praying about anything - we're a bunch of heathens) that he comes through it and is able to live a dignified comfortable life after. 

He's the last of his generation in our family, he fought in WWII ffs, he's still got so much to tell us, so much to hand on.

Growing old is hell.  And I don't mean turning 40.  I mean getting to 85, getting to 90.  Having your address book you've had for fifty years and slowly crossing out every single person in it as they pass away.  Watching your partner die.  Seeing yourself no longer able to do the things you used to love.  Feeling 20 on the inside.

In my role as grandchild there isn't a lot I can contribute at this point - though I'll keep offering, mostly my job is to support my mother, whose selfless dedication to helping both her parents in the twilight of their lives brings me close to tears.  If nothing else, I will be there for her in the same way when its her turn.

A part of me is angry about it all, why does old age have to be so awful?  Why do people who were once strong and vibrant and had the world at their feet, have to endure this deterioration.  But most of me is worried and sad and hoping we're not facing the inevitable now, that its not now, that its later, that its distant and future. Just a few more months, maybe a couple more years if we are lucky, weeks perhaps, we'll just take more. 

Please.

2006

E-Readers Changed My Life & Pancakes

Its Read An E-Book Week - hurray.  It is also shrove Tuesday (or pancake day at our house) tomorrow.  Am trying to decide which event thrills me the most.  I mean, now I get to write a long and possibly faintly ranty post about how awesome my kindle is AND well... pancakes with lemon and sugar, or butter and brown sugar.  FTW.

So, kindles and other e-readers.  Now don't go all 'but I just want to curl up with a REAL book,' on me in the comments.  That just makes me assume that you are old fashioned and afraid of change.  Do you really want me to think that about you, really? 

Why so passionate about e-readers?  After all, my books come in e-form and print-form, so its not like I have some agenda going on.  But it's more what e-readers have done for me.  That is, got me back into reading and introduced me to a whole host of new authors.

Anyone who has small kids will know that the mere thought of browsing in a bookshop is enough to bring on a case of hives.  It just doesn't work.  After Miss 6 showed up I gave up on reading, I never had books in the house and I completely lost touch with it. 

Then I got my kindle. 

Last night I finished Janet Evanovich's latest Stephanie Plum novel (Sizzling Sixteen), was able to go straight to the Amazon bookstore and download Room by Emma Donogue (which, incidentally, I heard about through Goodreads - brilliant website if you are after something to read but not sure where to start).  Did not even have to put one toe outside of my warm snuggy bed.

The other reason I love my kindle?  Book prices and new authors.  Generally they are a lot cheaper than the print versions, and this makes me more confident about having a crack at a new author.  When books are priced at upwards of $20, I am not going to spend the money in case I hate the book by the end of chapter three.  But when its a quarter of the price, well, I'm happier to give it a go. 

Take The Book Thief for example.  Hated it.  The authors voice gave me the absolute icks.  But I'm not fussed that I did hate it, not annoyed that I bought it, it only set me back a few dollars and I'm glad I had the opportunity to look it over even if I didn't finish it.

One final thing about e-readers that not a lot of people know.  They display their text using technology called 'Smart Ink'.  Its not backlit, and therefore nothing like what you see on a computer screen.  It looks just like text on paper.  Now I'm not saying reading with an e-reader is precisely the same as a print book (especially when the slackarse publishers can't format their e-books properly) but it comes really close and is easy on the eyes. 

As an author I can tell you that e-readers are the way of the future for fiction - no not your beautiful cookery type books, but yes the way of fiction.  Watching the publishing industry as I have over the last few years, it is becoming screamingly obvious that publishers have to move to e-books to keep up and to survive.  In Australia we've seen Angus and Robertson go bust in the last few weeks (they owned Aussie Borders btw, so that's why Borders went at the same time) and that says more than anything that bookshops as we know them are not going to be sustainable. 

So jump on that person reading the kindle in the cafe (hell, that's what everyone does to me, am thinking I should start running seminars at T2 in Hornsby) check one out, ask your questions and get into it.  Oh and it doesn't have to be a kindle - there are lots of other brands.

Hello? Are you awake? I get a bit ranty about e-readers.  Sorry about that.

:)

Vampire Hunter

 We fed it chocolate...

 And then sent it vampire hunting...

Cake Friday

I try to bake a cake each Friday, to treat the kids when they get home after chess club and because I get to lick the bowl with no interruptions.

This Friday I had a surplus of local plums after a foraging mission by Hubs and I to Galston.  They are pretty sour so I made Stephanie Alexander's Easy (HA - clearly she and I have different definitions of easy. I see easy as chuck four ingredients in the mixer then whack it in the oven, not as fourteen million different steps and the same number of bowl and ingredients) Plum Cake from her Kitchen Garden Companion, because its got a sugary crumble-like topping.

Yums :)

Overwhelmed

Its been one hell of a month, hubs and I have weathered pretty much every crisis known to a married couple living in the suburbs (so not earthquakes - though my cousin was in chch, cyclones or floods; but unemployment, overdrawn bank accounts, sick kids, and relentless stress), Miss 6 has been suffering from a grumbling appendix (now seems to be ungrumbled, but we're keeping an eye on her), and Miss 5s antics to get herself expelled from school will make for an excellent 21st speech, and I am promising myself that one day we'll look back and laugh. Maybe.  She has improved spectacularly in the last week (hubs and I are praying she gets through today with no tantrums and gets her good behaviour certificate - what caused this improvement? bribing her with money; if she's good she earns dollars to spend at the tuckshop!! sigh)

The thing that got to me most of all has been the garden.  Destroyed by chickens and heatwaves, rust, powdery mildew, nematodes, snails, blossom end rot, wilt... everything seemed to get wiped out over a two week period in late January.  It got so bad that I just could not bring myself to go outside and see all the barren, empty beds, what was the point when there was nothing to inspect and nothing to get excited about.

But about a week ago I was checking on the chooks - we've had a brush turkey invasion as well - and I suddenly noticed that a pumpkin had self seeded in the sweetcorn bed.  It had got pretty big, and I know it sounds insane but I really hadn't registered that it was growing, I was delightfully surprised and then, on closer inspection I saw we had a baby pumpkin...

Then I noticed the basil had gone wild, so I hacked all that back and threw it into the herb dryer to replenish my dried basil supply. And then gardenate emailed me with a list of what I should be planting, and suddenly it was autumn, and new season apples are coming in at Hornsby farmers market, and it seemed as my life reestablished its equilibrium so the garden came back into balance as well - and we both started to thrive again.

So yesterday I planted oodles of Tatsoi and Pakchoy, carrots and turnips and swedes - note cunning anti chicken tripping sticks - they get covered in shadecloth as well. Chickens apparently don't like to eat eggplant leaves (the big green leafy plant to the right of centre). The basil is reshooting after just a week, and there is a very sad looking capsicum (yes, that scrap of green in the middle) which I am determined to eke at least one capsicum out of.

So its good.  A long, difficult summer is behind us and the future is somewhat less daunting than it has been.

:)

How To Be A Writer Part 2: Be Obsessed

So, now that you have your sacred writing space taken care of, the next thing you need to do is write. 

This is my favorite mug... (on the other side it has 'Romance writers make novel lovers').

The washing will wait, so will the tidying, and the cleaning, and the cooking.  I put writing first.  I have to put writing first or it will disappear entirely, and the damn book will never be finished.  Then I'm left feeling irritated, frustrated, overwhelmed and cranky.  I am a much nicer person when writing comes first, trust me.

I'm not saying that anyone needs to spend four, five, ten hours a day writing whilst their beautiful children turn into tv zombies and quietly (or not so quietly) starve to death.  But I give myself some time every day to write, and then get on with the chores.  That is being a writer.  Ten minutes of writing on a hellish, out of control day, is going to still makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere.  Not opening my manuscript, but having all the laundry neatly folded, does not move me closer to my goal. 

Being engaged with your writing is also something that'll keep you moving forward. So, if I'm early to pick up the kids, I spend that ten minutes focussing on my plot, plot problems and holes, having ideas, considering character.  I jot down notes, often on the back of old receipts which I then lose and spend fruitless time searching for only to find them three months later on the floor of the car. 

Its not just using down time either - when you are busy doing things that don't really engage your brain, get into the habit of thinking about your work.  I believe it was Agatha Christie who said she got her best ideas when she was doing the washing up.

This all might sound a touch obsessive, but seriously, to push through and get an 100,000 word manuscript written needs a touch of obsession.  I have calculated that to get 100,000 publishable words, I write in excess of 300,000 words (that also has a lot to do with my writing style, and other writers don't work that way).  When you have a busy life (and who doesn't) and conflicting priorities, you need to be very focused on what you want, and how you are going to get it.

You want to be a writer, then you write.

:)

How To Be A Writer Part 1: Sacred Space

There is often talk in writerly places that  focus on inspiration and motivation, about creating a sacred space where you work. Here you can come and channel your muse, or muses, or get in the zone, or do whatever floats your boat. 

I often think these people do not have children, a family, or even a small cat.

Here is my current writing space...

If I have somewhere to sit and nobody to bother me then its sacred.

Melting, I'm melting... also underpants

FFS, about day 550 of 40+ temps.  So over it.  The garden is breaking my heart, what with the temperature and the high winds everything is burnt to a crisp. I'm watering as much as possible - but I think even if I had the sprinklers on 24/7 we'd still be losing stuff, the heat is so intense and the UV so high, that it's sunburning all the leaves.  All the cucumbers, zuchinni, my blueberry patch, lettuces and remaining strawberries are stuffed, even my lone pumpkin is badly sunburnt.  sigh.  I always hate gardening in summer.

As we've been pretty much housebound due to the heat I have been trying to use my time productively, mostly this has involved yelling at the kids, but inbetween I've been clearing out the pantry.  Illuminating experience that.  Let's just say that if there is a cinnamon stick shortage in the future then I've pretty much got the whole suburb covered. 

All this housewifely endeavor has not been with out its pitfalls, oh goodness no.  I emptied the detritus at the bottom of various draws into rubbish bags with holes in them no less than THREE times, hubs has given up putting the dustpan and brush away and now has them out on standby.  I also plunged one of the aforementioned drawers into the over full sink, causing an epic tidal wave that soaked my only pair of shorts - I took them off, as they keep falling down anyway, only to discover that...
1. My underpants were on inside out (again).
2. When I clench my buttocks it makes the tag at the back stick out, relax and it lays flat again.  (see, a silver lining - a new talent - should I add it to the Resume? Yes? No?)

Due to present cashflow issues I am considering using the expired goods for dinner tonight - draw the line at 2009 maybe? No, perhaps 2008?  Oh I kid.  But you can sieve weevils out of flour, right? right?

Anyhoo. 

I appear to have missed welcoming the Chinese Year of the Rabbit - though oddly, had a random Chinese food craving on what turned out to be Chinese new year - spooky eh? 
So welcome, year of the wabbit, I hope you don't turn into the year of Mr Wabbit - for OS readers this is a vastly witty pun on the name of our opposition leader Mr Abbott, who likes to parade around in budgie smugglers and use natural disasters and the misery of ordinary people to further his own agenda and display his vast insensitivity and self-absorption, erm anyway, skip that part, just look at the cute picture below...

新年快樂 

or Xin Nian Kuai Le

or Happy New Year

Abiding by my fine principles as usual...

I was going to post a Real Food flowchart up here today, but then I started to get dinner ready for my children. Oh and its drinkies time...

Ah yes. This is how far I have fallen. THIS is what school holidays do to an otherwise sane and capable person (ahem).  Remember the girl who buys local tomatoes and makes litres of her own tomato paste and then is smug about it for months?  This is what has become of her.  Will feel shame at any moment, bubbles are hitting system right now, but shame is certainly lurking in there somewhere.

In other news its 40+ degrees, and I've spent over an hour sitting next to a swimming pool in jeans (because they were the only bit of clothing that passed for kind of clean - I'm so far behind with the washing that it'll take until March to catch up).  Mmm, sweaty.

But please don't think I've completely let myself go, hell no... in a fit of heathfulness I have added orange juice to the bubbles.

Just so nobody feels deprived, here is the Real Food chart...

February? Already?

• Holy crap Queensland, look after each other, and don't do anything stupid, k?
• Went to see Sting at the Sydney Opera House last night, with the Sydney Symphony orchestra.  Awesome - however, I now despise Foot Tappers.  They join a short list of things I utterly hate, which is... people who make me high five them, people who point at me with two hands, and people who shout Aussie Aussie Aussie, thus making me shout Oi, Oi, Oi - oh the indignity.
• Anyway, Sting. OMG.  Don't really have the words to describe sitting in the SOH Concert hall as the audience sing Message in a Bottle accompanied by Sting on his guitar; spine tingling comes close.  Must say though, he does seem to have a rather bizarre fox fetish - hmm.
• The children have gone back to school - yes, the less said about Those Holidays the better, I have counselling tomorrow, maybe then I'll be able to attempt to write about The Horror.
• BBS... yes, I will. The fug in my head is starting to clear, and I'm finding my words again. I will be back soon.  Promise.

:)

Two weeks to go...

Crafty people - they're doing an awesome raffle over at The Red Thread to raise money for flood victims.  Link here .  You can win a sewing machine, sewing patterns, sewing kits n' everythink...  I was once a crafty person, cross stitch and tapestry being my main vices, however, since the advent of kids... well you know the story.

siiiiiigh.

Two more weeks of school holidays to go... 

• Miss 5 is chucking daily tantrums that she does not want to go to kindi, despite having spent all last year in a 'transition' year at the same school and is moving into the next door classroom.  
• I have spent all my gardening money on school shoes.  
• I have dragged out all the uniforms, and untold random white school socks that I am trying to match according to their level of greyness.  
• And I have whipped out the iron (for the second time in twelve months) to start ironing on name labels. (It was also my inaugural use of my Brand New Mosman-ish Ironing Board Cover - which, incidentally, matches my oven gloves - never let it be said I don't have this interior decorating thingy down pat)
• All of this is in the hope that it will make the next fortnight go faster
• Also my children are nagging me about Easter.

Because I am not quite exhausted enough, I am also making my next assault on the Vile colour schemes in this house which I have lived with for seven long years.  This week I am painting over The Brown in the main bedroom.  This year is the year of me, and me can no longer endure The Brown inflicting itself upon my boudoir. 

Oh and I'm changing the name of the Year of Me - is sounds a bit, yanno, self absorbed (what?), am now calling it the Year of Wellbeing.

Laters :)

Salient Points of Last Ten Days

Three words. School. Fricking. Holidays.

In summary...

• 1.2kgs to go to goal weight - God alone knows how, given I start drinking earlier every day.
• Got self first new swimmers in eight years - Storm in a D-Cup is brilliant for those of you out there who have lost 13+kgs but not One Single Centimetre off their gigantic mammaries (no, there is no justice in this world).  I tell you, when gravity gets to those babies...
• New swimmers led to foray into self-waxing of bikini line (could not face trip to salon with children, explanations would be bad enough...).  Went for landing strip, and after much weeping and swearing, ended up with plucked chicken.
• Watermelon exploded in kitchen spraying several litres of fermenting juice over every surface - as was leaving house at that exact moment threw down a couple of towels and let it fester in 30 degree heat for six hours.
• Luckily children and dog have been using lounge carpet as urinal, so stench of ammonia presently overpowering any lingering rotten fruit smell - WIN
• Found baby Brush Turkey behind drinks fridge in laundry - was, by this point, beyond surprise (took to vet, who will pass onto WIRES)
• Writing? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, sob...
• Cried over the QLD floods, feeling exhausted by the Victorian ones
• Cried for Lori - in fact still crying for Lori, my heart breaks for you my love, life fucking sucks
• and... nope, I'm done...

RWA Flooded Communities Book Appeal

I know from the Black Saturday Bushfires that there is real satisfaction in choosing a book to send to someone who has lost everything...

We've all seen the devastation the recent Queensland floods have wrought and have wondered how we can help. We know that for many affected families, books will not be high on their priorities list for some time to come.

But...

We also know how valuable books can be in providing time out when reality gets tough.

So…

With the aid of some wonderful volunteers, we've put together a Romance Writers of Australia Flooded Communities Book Appeal.

What we need?

FICTION BOOKS! Romance books, children's books, young adult books, genre books, whatever – either new or in sparkling condition.

Please send them to:

RWA Flooded Communities Book Appeal

PO Box 1717

Noosaville Post Office

Noosaville BC

Queensland 4566

When to send them?

Now! And any time over the next few months. The books will be boxed and delivered to the appropriate libraries/schools/neighbourhood centres/community centres in batches as soon as the communities are ready to receive them. We’ll be liaising with councils, libraries and schools to ensure this is done appropriately. Feel free to pop a note inside, or if you're an author, sign it.

Questions:

If you have a question about donations, email Jess Anastasi:Jess@jessanastasi.com

If you work in a library / council / community centre / school in a flood affected area, email Rachel Bailey: rachel@rachelbailey.com.au

Happy New Year

New Year is always full on at our house, what with one birthday on the 31st and another on the 1st. (Miss 5 and Me, now Mrs 39, sigh).  But we have survived, kind of.

I take my New Years resolutions very seriously.  I am extremely goal motivated, and so when I set out to do something I generally achieve it.  The one grand exception to this has been losing weight, but this year I even managed to achieve that, with my current weight now at a trim and terrific 68.8kgs - just 1.8kgs above a healthy BMI.  Given that I had an obese BMI six months ago I am presently LOVING MYSELF SICK - although I would like to discuss the saggy Mummy bum that's attached itself behind me, not to mention the jelly belly that honestly looked better when it was a bit rounder, and the fact I STILL HAVE FAT ANKLES with someone.

Ahem.

Anyway, resolutions.

This year is the year of Me.

Its going to be about getting myself back, about prioritising things I want to do, instead of leaving them at the bottom of the list, about slowing down and living in the moment, getting space and being better at the things that are important to me (like kids, and garden, and home, and writing).

The last seven years seem to have disappeared into a fug of babies, stress, exhaustion and an endless feeling of being not quite good enough.  I know that this is pretty much par for the course when you've got rug rats about, but now that they're both at school, I think its time to get me back. In fact, its essential for the wellbeing of me and my family.

Blogging-wise, I might not be about as much as before.  Not because I don't want to be here, but I have GOT to get writing.  Boys of Summer has been dragging on for nearly 18months now, I'm over it and I need to get it done, and move onto Fat Chance.  My publisher, Samhain, recently took me off their active authors list, and that has been a big wake up call for me.  My 1000 words a day have to come first.

Its also going to be the Year of Landscaping the Garden and Painting the House.

Actually, I'm excited.  I think 2011 is going to be a good year.

Merry Crimbo

Was I a bit bah humbug the other day?  My apologies. Its been a christmas lead up like no other.

But things, as of this afternoon, have found their equilibrium and christmas cheer has burst forth in the Nicholas household - we even put on carols at St Mary's for an entire five minutes - then we were made to switch to Wallace and Grommit.

We've spent the evening making icecream (had slight measuring brain-fail and managed to squeeze out a gigantic 2 cups worth for  7 people, sigh) and visiting neighbours and admiring christmas lights and eating mince pies (yes, I can eat again, not complaining about the 2kgs in 4 day weight loss, but would prefer in future to do it with slightly more dignity).  The kids were so excited that (in our own Christmas miracle) they both passed out the minute we put them in bed - yes, yes, we'll be up at dawn (5.14 if you were wondering).

Well, its 55mins to Christmas, and I must away to bed.  Season's cheer to everyone who reads here.  Take care, be safe and have an awesome day.

Twas the Week Before Christmas...

My mother just rang, having a stress about christmas.  Fair enough, you may think, its a stressful time for anyone, but here is a short list of what has been going on in addition to your usual christmas kerfuffle.

• My youngest sister has been trying to get on a plane, from Heathrow (news just in: she departed 25mins ago - so now 24hrs of worrying about plane crashes and it'll be fine)
• My brother in law, who has been recovering beautifully from his spine operation, came out of hospital yesterday (in record time - YAY).  
• My nephew who has been suffering from chronic ear infections has been ferried about to specialists and a grommit operation is looming on the horizon
• The vet ballsed up my sister's dog's cruciate ligament operation and thought that this week would be a good week to fix it all up ("you'll only have to pay for the anaesthetic") - because what someone with an incapacitated husband and sick toddler needs is a dog that can't even get itself outside to go to the bathroom
• I got food poisoning - and not just your normal 24hour type food poisoning; its been so bad that I haven't been able to function since Sunday, and in a great improvement managed to eat two tablespoons of boiled rice yesterday.  Apparently my gut has shed its lining, about which I have no idea, but I do know its really fricking painful.

It can only improve from here, right?

Cocktail Hour, Caitlyn Nicholas Style

What? Serving cocktails in the measuring scoop that came free with an extra large bag of dog food IS classy. The champagne chasers are necessary, trust me.

Today has involved christmas shopping (DONE, yesssss), 35 degree heat, violent thunderstorms, bickering with my husband (all good now, have been shown error of my ways at length, in detail, repeatedly, LOVE YOOO), feral children, Miss 4 crapping in the pool (again) and then a fight with the dog to get the floaty out before he dived in and ate it (and managed to do that without sacrificing pool scoop this time, WIN).

Was considering doing a bit of a photo blog post about my day As-It-Happens sometime these holidays, am glad today was not that day.

Cocktail recipe: Applesinthe
45ml Absinthe
30ml apple juice
splash lemon juice, splash sugar syrup
Mint leaves 

Not my year for garlic

Lately have been feeling Very Pleased (ie, jealous as hell) when I read about Other Bloggers harvesting their bumper crop of garlic.  I love home grown garlic and this year put in three huge patches, but, as with so many other things in this garden, it has not worked out as planned, and here is the sum total of my garlic harvest for 2010...

sigh.  

After planting over 100 onion seedlings (most of which I bought) I've also ended up with about half a dozen golf-ball sized onions - I did lose a lot to the wretched escapologists chickens - but even so, its just not been my year for alliums this year.

But in cheerier news, followed Greenfumb's example and picked the largest and most alluring of my tomatoes and they're now ripening on the kitchen windowsill.

Did I mention to anyone before that I'm slightly allergic to raw tomatoes?  Um yes (now do you see why I feel so strongly about The Universe Hating ME???). But I still love growing them, and eating them when they've had the crap cooked out of them.  So, YUMS.

:)

Close Encounters of the Oprah kind

So, have been a bit miffed that I missed out on a ticket to Oprah but today fate, fortune or whatever, smiled down on me and quite by accident I got to see her and say hi.

We were down at the Opera House, at the last of the baby proms for the year.  The place was utter chaos, as all the Oprah audience were queuing for tickets, and a huge stage and tv camera's were being set up on the forecourt.  Oprah herself was walking over the harbour bridge and the place was seething with helicopters.  Even a skywriter had written the letters O H R A in the sky (and then clearly given up in embarrassment at his spelling mistake - or was it initials... Oprah Has Royal Authority??)

We carolled away with Saskia from Playschool and members of the Sydney Symphony Orchestra at the proms, and then went for our usual wander in the botanic gardens.  Then as we headed back to lunch at Circular Quay I saw a bit of a fuss near where they'd set up the huge stage.  So I hurried over, phone in hand and as I got to the barrier, who should be standing there but...

Yes, yes, not her best angle :)  Sorry Oprah.  She was chatting to the lady next to me about how she'd been up on the harbour bridge that morning.

Then she held out her hand to me, and I shook it, and squeaked, "Hi, its great to meet you, welcome to Australia."  Look, I was having a fan girl moment okay, I could barely get the words out, it was almost as bad as when I met Jackie French.

She smiled vaguely at me and then moved along to the next person - yes, am sure she'll be writing about meeting me on her blog this evening - and then I ducked out the way so the other ladies behind me could get a chance to say hi, and that was that.

Circular Quay has gone Oprah mad.  Oprah flags everywhere, and you could even get the t-shirt...

I did not get the t-shirt, but was amused by the fat hairy old guy wearing a t-shirt that said "Oprah Loves Me."

So, I've said Hi to the Queen of Daytime TV.  Rather chuffed actually.

Check out these beauties

Quick brother-in-law update:  The surgery went really well, though took a lot longer than expected, apparently his back was a mess of scar tissue from the earlier accident.  He was kind-of with-it by yesterday night and all is looking good. Phew.

Summer has arrived here on the Upper Upper Upper North Shore (locals will know that this is a humorous reference to the fact that real estate agents like to extend the poshness of the North Shore to suburbs that are blatantly not even remotely near the North Shore, in an effort to increase house prices - thus far this strategy has not appeared to work).  Temps are hitting 30+ every day and the humidity is hovering at around 50 - 60%, making the mould in the bathroom grow as you watch it.  Its also making the vegies grow as you watch them.

Amish Paste tomatoes.  This one is about the size of my fist.  Have a dilemma though, do I pick now and ripen inside, or leave to ripen on the vine and risk birds, chooks, caterpillers, snails, slugs etc etc...

Pumpkin - Queensland Blue I think - I dunno, this was a self-seeder so it could be anything.

And those there are my cucumbers growing everywhere apart from up the trellis I carefully set up.  Am a bit chuffed about these ones as they are grown from seed I saved last year.

Have a good weekend everyone :)

Hugs, finger crossing, vibes, thoughts, prayers... I'll take 'em all.

Today my brother-in-law is having a major operation. It'll take a surgeon 4 hours to fuse two of the vertebrae in his spine and hopefully this will relieve some of the horrific pain that he is enduring right now.

This is not a pleasant story.  Many years ago my bil badly injured his back in a car accident.  He's had serious problems ever since. Lately these serious problems have doubled and tripled in their intensity.  It has become a regular occurrence that he'd have injections into his spine to relieve the excruciating pain.

Then about ten days ago, his back spasmed and my sister knew immediately that this was like nothing before.  The pain went from excruciating to uncontrollable and my bil was taken to hospital where he has remained on a cocktail of drugs.  Last Thursday these drugs were failing to control the pain, and... well, its been really distressing.

So, after tomorrow we hope that after rehab, the pain will be over and he can get on with a normal life.  Oh, I hope it all goes okay.

Being Precious

So I rock up to my local garden centre on Sunday morning.  One of the employees is standing by the entrance and upon spotting me shouts, "Well hello there, precious."
Precious?
What the...
I gave him a quizzical glare look, removed my sunglasses from my head, put them on pointedly, and stalked off to inspect capsicums. Wondering briefly if I do come over as precious to complete strangers.
But he wasn't finished there.
No, when he came to relieve me of my money, he spotted the bottle of pyrethrum I'd picked up - I use it on the patio to get rid of the sandflies mostly - and he said 'Ah, chemical woman.'  As if I'd just confirmed all his assumptions about being precious.
Chemical woman?
I said, 'Okaaaaaay," in a tone that was supposed to suggest that I'd rather we didn't speak further.
But he just grinned and said, 'bye chemical girl.' And handed me back my card.

Its not been the only difficulty I've had communicating with the human race this week.
No.
Yesterday I had an appointment at a beauty salon for a person to go at my nether regions with hot wax and a pair of tweezers.  Yes, and pay them for the privilege.
Alas, in a moment of utter brainlessness I picked the Wrong Time to make this appointment.
Upon arriving at the salon I told the receptionist that I had to cancel that part of my appointment due to it being The Wrong Time.
"Wha?" she said.
"The Wrong Time," I said, slightly louder.
"Wha?" she squinted at me.
"I've got my PERIOD," I snap.  Just as every hairdryer in the place was switched off.

sigh.

More wildlife

2.75 hours into school holidays and Bloody Hell.  56 days to go.  Help meeeee.

In other news, on Monday I ate a turkey sandwich for lunch THEN walked outside and there was a brush turkey sitting on the roof.

Coincidence? I think not.

Clearly it was here to avenge its fallen comrades, OR sexually harass my chickens.  Either way, next door's dog scared it off, and it hasn't returned. Phew.  (Yes, you might be wondering where Sebs the Attack Spaniel was... after some half-hearted barking from under the outside table he disappeared inside to leave me to fend for myself.)

sigh.

Farewell Fat Clothes

Am not happy. Despite dieting my shrinking behind off, I did not lose weight this week.  It could be because I'm adjusting to the new weightwatchers regime, or it could be because I've got a scorching case of fluid retention or it could just be because sometimes dieting sucks.  Who knows.

So, am blogging about the fat clothes I got rid of on the weekend in an attempt to cheer self up and keep motivated and stop eating fantales.

There was a good pile of stuff that's around size 14 to 16 that I simply cannot wear anymore - it falls off. And my god it was a good feeling to clear it out of the drawers and cupboards. Its a symbol of what I've achieved, and I'm also not giving myself a place to go back to.  No siree.  If I put weight back on, I'll just have to suffer in my size 12 jeans until I lose it again.

Well, its a strategy. :)

The clothes have gone to Vinnies.

I cannot tell you the number of times people who have lost weight, who have tried to give me their old fat clothes.  Seriously. It happened again just a couple of months ago.  Why anyone who had lost weight would look around for their nearest overweight friend and go 'oh you look like you're a 16, here have my old stuff,' is beyond me.  Its devastating and humiliating.  And honestly, whilst I firmly believe in people's good intentions, to do that to someone is a sign that you are not a friend.  Yes, yes, I know they're often nice clothes and yes, the person is most likely right, they'd probably fit.  I understand their logic.  But the reality of this situation is cruel and hurtful.

This setback - of working incredibly hard on weightloss and getting nowhere - is really the first serious challenge I've faced. I'm surprised by how desperately I want to eat and how I've gone right back to the usual justifications and self-talk that I thought were dead and buried about six months ago.

sigh.

Wish me forbearance.

Gigantic Underpants Fail

I did it again.  Ran into Target and grabbed the first bulk pack of undies I saw in the right size. Am rueing the decision as I ended up with these...

Even more enormous than the horrific purply-grey ones I ended up with last time.  Do not think I will be able to bring self to wear them, though if I do and we are on a yacht and we lose the sails in a freak accident, I will be able to save the day and hoist a pair up.  Never let it be said that I am not versatile.

:)

The Sty

I have a new apron.  I also have a house that looks a lot like a pigsty.  So today I combined the two and wore my apron to muck out my pigsty.  (My hair is in a pony tail and yes I should smile).

At the end of Phase One (the bedrooms) I ended up with a dirty clothes pile that blocked the doorway to the other end of the house.

Despite perplexing the dog, this pile served the worthy purpose of stopping me from having to look at the state of the TV room (Phase three).  Which is as illustrated below.

I have also run out of washing powder, leading me to believe (somewhat cheerfully) that I may not get to Phase Three until at least the weekend.

hmm.

Finally, and seriously, my heart goes out to everyone in NZ, and the Pike River miner's families in particular. My sister worked underground as a mining engineer in various coal mines for many years. I know what it's like to live with the knowledge that a loved one spends their working day kilometres beneath the surface - mostly you don't try to think too hard about it, and put your faith in the safety procedures that every mine has in place.  There is nothing else you can do.  It's beyond ghastly, what has happened, just devastating.

Haircut

Guess who had his summer clip today...

Am thinking its time for my summer clip as well.  Seb's has spent the day hanging out with two ruby cavalier's and could barely keep his eyes open long enough for this photo.

In other stop press news, my Honey Joys sold out in moments at the Christmas markets and I am, officially, the Honey Joy Queen. You may now address me as Queen Honey (which sounds like a porn star) or Queen Joy (which is uncannily accurate, me being suffused with joy at all times, or was that sarcasm? always getting those two confused). Honey joys, for those who are unsure, are cornflakes smothered in honey and butter, put in a patty pan and left to coagulate.  Very yum.

:)

Connecting

Been making Honey Joys for the school's christmas markets.

It was hard work, on a day when the kids have been brain-suckingly horrific, but I really love being a part of the school community and contributing in this way.

Its been a day of connecting today.  Connection for me is something that is really important.  When I walked away from my first marriage I was desperately isolated.  Breathtakingly alone.  Now my life is overflowing with people, so much so that I sometimes get overwhelmed by it.  But not today.  Today I've had coffee and laughter, phone calls and laughter and setting the world to rights and chatting and helping and advising and text messages and IM chats and discussions in the car park and bumping into people in the supermarket and the newsagent.

Yeah, the kids have been hard-work, and I'm drained and tired, but looking back over today the feeling of connectedness and sense of belonging, makes me smile.

Its been a good day.

Just found what is missing from my life

I've just spent ten minutes surfing a few blogs, and am now contemplating the intricacies of a FUD (female urinary device)...

Courtesy of Mrs Woog at Woog's World - who's opinion of the thing I am entirely in accord with.

Ew.

Just as I was getting over this, I came across Re-useable toilet paper.

The environmentalist in me approves of this, she really really does, but... well, when I was living in China I stayed in places where the sewage system could not handle toilet paper, so after you had finished with the toilet (subtly put eh?) you put the paper in an open bin which got emptied once a day if you were lucky.

Right now this concept is giving me flashbacks, and they ain't pretty.

shudder.

Clearly neither FUDs nor re-useable toilet paper are missing from my life.

No.

What has been missing from my life re-appeared of its own accord this afternoon after an absence of a good 20 years...

Miss 6 got one at a party this afternoon, and after some confusion has taken to the concept with admirable dedication.  Never has so much laughter been heard, mostly at the expense of hubs.

Saturday afternoon in the garden

Miss 4 has been taking photos. Given her height and my height there were a lot which included my elbows, boobs and bottom.  Not a pretty sight when clad in grey velour tracksuit pants and a hot pink lycra top (what? its Saturday and I've been in the garden all day).

This thicket is the tomatoes.  They're fruiting all over the place.

And the washing on the line. I just love when kids take random pictures like this and they really work.

And then there are those that have questionable content.

:)

Quiet

Am still here. Am okay.  Things have been rather full on at Chez Nicholas. We have finally launched ourselves into 'the system' with regards to Miss 4s behaviour issues - well, after she pooed herself at the paediatrician's office to get attention, we kind-of had to.  Words like Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Aspergers are being mentioned - but I want to stress that we have no official diagnosis at this stage, and honestly if she did have either of these things it would be at the very mild end of the spectrum.  She's a fabulous, hugely bright kid and frankly I think with counselling for all of us, and good management techniques we'll smooth out the somewhat bumpy path that we're currently on.

Regardless, the last couple of weeks have been confronting and intensely mentally draining and I have not had the headspace to put together a coherent blogpost, even if it was just about vegetables.

We have a reasonably quiet weekend ahead - before the insanity of end-of-term and (oh dear god) Christmas and (Oh Dear God) long holidays - so am hoping to get a few moments of ranting writing time.

Be back soon. :)

Sweetcorn

This bed here is half my sweetcorn bed (I've got two 3m x 1m beds next to each other, so I generally count them as one bed).  At the end of July I put in a heap of sweetcorn seed. One germinated and I bought the rest from the seedling lady at Hornsby markets.  Then in September I put in another heap of sweetcorn seed.  Four germinated and those shorties at the front are also courtesy of the seedling lady in Hornsby. sigh.

Though slightly dismayed - which you kind of get used to when you have such regular gardening disasters as I do - am not put off.  Here is the other half of that bed.  I've just pulled up all the bolting lettuce and laid it over the soil to protect it a bit due to all the heavy rain we're getting at the moment (not that I'm complaining or anything).

I'm planning on putting seed in this bed in the very near future, so I reckon the seedling lady can expect another visit in around three weeks or so.

sigh.

I hereby declare this house organised.

I know that I can be hellish bad at follow up posts. Ones which talk about know how I went with the tidying, or if I actually sold the child on ebay etc...

So here we have it, a follow up post.  There's a lot of good news :)...

Firstly, I was talking the other day about getting the house straight and organised before we hit the Christmas holidays, and also that the Universe had conspired against me every time I tried to do anything.  Well, the Universe did not stop conspiring, it never does, BUT I did manage to get the house in order and organised by Miss 4s party on Sunday.

It was a struggle.  It was boring and fricking hard work, but as I sit here, and things are in order (yes, there is a bit of random untidyness and the dishwasher needs unloading and the clothes need hanging out...) I really feel that the huge effort was worth it. I've got a sense of having things under control for the first time in weeks.

So the house is orderly. What of our finances...

As most of you know we've struggled with credit card debt since our annus horribilius last year, when we had a long period of no income.  We arrived in 2010 in arrears to practically every telco and utilities company in Australia - and, can I just add, we were really up front about our situation and our plans to pay what we owed and they were all great about it - this is in addition to a maxed out credit card.  Since then we've worked hard to dig ourselves out of that hole - which has also been horrible and boring and stressful and awful.

We've paid off debt as fast as we can, so by the end of July we were straight with everyone except the rates bill and the Credit Card.  I had set up a payment plan with the council and we had a schedule of payments organised for the credit card, and it was looking like we'd be debt free by March 2011.  But hubs did his tax and the refund exactly covered the remainder of the credit card and the amount owing to the council.

So, as of yesterday, we have no debt aside from the mortgage.

It doesn't feel real yet.  I'm so used to stressing about money that I'm automatically worrying about the cost of a celebrationary afternoon tea at T2.  Hubs is in dire need of new jeans and I have a pretty desperate bra situation happening - but a part of me is refusing to believe that its going to be okay to spend money on new clothes.  I'm pretty sure I'll get over it :).

One thing I am totally sure of though, I never, ever, want to go through it again.

:)

Birthday cake

So today was Miss 4's early birthday party.

Yesterday I made the cake.
Started with this...

Progressed to this (those are marshmallow ghosts on the cake, it being a, somewhat late, halloween theme)...

And ended up like this...

Smitten Kitchen's red velvet cake - it was amazing, a light moist chocolate cake, with a cream cheese icing (same as what you'd put on a carrot cake).

Its been a great day :)

Fly trap update

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for their kind comments about my norks on Sunday's post.  It has completely inspired me and I have decided to copy Guccimama and have Half Naked Thursday on my blog - yes, henceforth I shall be plastering my nekkid bits... oh as IF.

And, to the person who emailed me to inform me that if you zoom in on that photo, you can get them up to almost life size - I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Anywaaaaaay.

I am sick with a rotten cold AND my life has exploded.  When I woke up this morning I had decided I could just about send Miss 4 back to school with a clear conscience (when I picked her up this afternoon the front of her top was crispy with snot - goddammit - tomorrow I'll dose her up with drugs so its not so obvious I'm a bad bad mother) and was looking forward to a few days during which I had nothing to do except execute a well organised countdown to Miss 4s birthday party this weekend.

Sigh.

Within the space of four emails and two text messages I ended up with about 45 MILLION other urgent things to do, AND hubs is dealing with a massive massive crisis at work so I haven't seen him for days, AND I had a huge panic about the party this afternoon and ended up running around random supermarkets with a Very Runny Nose and No List.

I cannot even remember what I bought.  Well, I do remember the gigantic packet of chips, because I ate them, and I spent the afternoon teaching my children to suck M&Ms onto the end of a straw and drop them in a bowl (you could Feel The Serenity in our house for an entire half hour once they got the hang of it) and I know for a fact that M&Ms were not in my vicinity pre-shopping.

Um.  So. Flytrap.

Not a success.  I think that one fly died of boredom.

Hmm.